nighthawk
by bill560682
Summary: this is what happens when harry says screw you i am going to live my own life and leave the wizarding world.this does look at it from the 20 year later veiw. warning bad spelling and even worse grammar also really bad jokes.
1. Chapter 1

i do not own harry potter.

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SUMMERY : this story is a look back at how harry potter tells the wizarding world to screw you. it looks at these event from 20 years in the future. an be warned there are not as many flashback chapters as i had hoped for but a few full flashback chapters.

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A.N. i personally believe that you can not thank god for the good things without also blaming him/her/it for the bad things as well. either god is all powerful and in our lives everyday or he/she/it is a hands off god. a god who only created us and the bible then took a hands off aproach to overseeing to his/her/it's creation. everyone wants to thank god for all the good but blame the devil for all the bad. well if god is all powerful but takes a hands off idea about man than he gets no blame but no credit as well. you can not have it both ways, either god is all powerful and in our lives all the time and responsable for the good and the bad or god is all powerful but a hands off god an there for gets no credit or blame. there is no blame the devil for the bad and thank god for the good not if you think god is truely all powerful. either god gets credit and blame for everything or god get gets credit and blame as well for nothing because an all powerful god could prevent the bad things from happening. an yes i know you can not have sunny days without rainy days because then you would not be thankful for the sunny days. which still takes us right back to god being to blame for the rainy days no matter how much we may need them, so that we will be thankful for the sunny days.

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this story starts on the morning of july 31, 2015. location high priced hotel in florida. time is 6 a.m.

knock, knock, harry rolls over regretting what he knows is coming when he sees the time.

"mom, dad, time to get up." states kyle as he starts jupming on the bed.

"no it is not. an who are you?" asks harry. of course he knew just who it was, namely his 11 year old twin boys stone and kyle. but at 6 a.m. harry was not going to get up if he did not have to, an since he is the father he does not have to unless his wife jen says so. so harry decided to do to the boys the same thing he did when they were 6 an tried to get him and jen up at 6 a.m. on christmas, an that is to play stupid. there is only one 6 o'clock in each day an it is not in the morning.

"oh no, you know who we are and what day it is too, our birthday." stated stone matter of factly.

"no i have no clue as to who YOU are, but i would like to get to know this lovely young lady sleeping in my bed." replied harry

"eeeewww, dad. i mean yes we know where babies come from an all but we do not want to hear that kind of thing from our parents." said kyle.

" an before you say it, as for us being late for the rides or anything, we are staying at the hotel on the park grounds. which means we get in an hour before everyone else. so there is no way everyone else will be on all the best rides before us. so you will leave for at least the next 2 hours so i can get to know this strange man sleeping in my bed." stated jen.

"eeewwww, not you too mom. an i thought you were the the sane one?" questioned stone. " well lets go kyle looks like we are on our own for breakfast. so i guess we will just have to call room service an order everything on the menu."

an with that the boys left the room. an harry turned to his wife an said. " honey i have something to tell you."

"dear i think that is supposed to be my line. an normally it comes right before the words 'i an pregnet'. oh oh oh your pregent we will be rich. the first man to be pregent. ooohhhh i do NOT want to even think where that baby will be coming out of, that is REALLY gonna hurt." said jen.

"honey i love you, but not that much. BECAUSE YES THAT WOULD really hurt." replied harry he then spent the next hour telling her about the wizarding world, an the chance that since he is a wizard that is sons may be as well. even thou they showed no signs of it if they get letters to a wizarding school they should show up today. since normally they are sent out as an 11th birthday present.

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7 a.m. harry's hotel room.

"mom, dad, foods here, an they sent us a witch to eat it with us." called stone threw the bedroom door.

"tell her NO magic in the house without parental consent." stated harry as he picked up his wand and headed to leave the bedroom.

"ah man, i did not know you could have breakfast with the characters. but why did they have to send the wicked witch of the north. i mean why could they not sent donald duck or snoopy or even scooby doo, heck i would have been happy with even minnie mouse over her." stated kyle.

"first off young man,you need to read more because glenda was the good witch of the north. the wicked witches were from the east and west. an as far as becoming donald duck or scooby doo or even minnie mouse i think i can handle that." said the woman.

" ah but dad it would be so cool if she could do it." stated kyle.

" she can do it, an i said no human to animal transfiguration in the house without parental consent." replied harry as he went and changed the coffee table into a pig and back.

"i take it i will not be leaving here with my memory in tact if i can not prove who i am then." stated the woman.

" that is correct." replied harry.

" well then i am headmistress anna cole of the salem instute. an these two young men are kyle and stone nighthawk normally of boston. an here in florida on vacation. an you would be harry nighthawk there father. i was wondering mr. nighthawk if you might be able to help me out with a problem. there is a headmistress at a school called hogwarts, an she thinks that if a man named harry potter has magical children that they should go to her school. " stated headmistess cole.

" i am sorry headmistress but i have been out of the wizarding world for almost 20 years, an there for have not seen any witches or wizards in all that time other then my sons." stated harry to headmistress cole.

" well then it looks as if i will just have to put up with that woman writing my every year until one of us die then. so do you wish to tell your family about your life story or should we just wait for them to read it in the morning paper?" asked headmistress cole.

" i think i should tell them, that way they at least get the trueth instead of a bunch of crap only written to sell pepers." stated harry as he sat down an began to tell them of the true life of one harry james potter worts and all.

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several hours later.

" wow dad i can not believe you went threw all that abuse an lived. i mean even if you do like pain that is just unbelivable that you could still be alive. personally i think i would have had those weasely twins make up some sort of prank that would have turned those people into toads or something until the counter spell was done then dropped them off at the nearest lake. that way you do not get caught for underaged magic." stated stone.

" now see son, now you are beginning to think like your grandfather james. how can i pull off a prank an get away with it." said harry.

" harry you WILL NOT encurage our children to pull pranks on people. do you have any idea of the harm that could do to the person being pranked? that could end up being the final straw that sends them over the edge an causes them to either kill themselves or kill someone else. don't you think that the teacher you had names snape had mental problems from being on the wrong end of all your fathers pranks, an there for took it out on you? so if you want to get into a prank war with someone that is fine, as long as everyone involved is in agreement. BUT if a catch you or the boys pulling so much as one prank on someone who was not a willing member of some prank war you will NOT be a happy camper. do i make my self clear?" asked jen.

" yes dear. i would never encourage our children to pull pranks on their fellow classmates." stated harry.

" now that is good mr. nighthawk because we use goblin truth serum to catch little pranksters at salem. an if any little pranksters decide to try an pull anything on the staff we feel payback is better then any detention." stated headmistress cole.

" yah but to prank them back you need to catch them at it,or have parental consent to use truth potions or truth spells an i do not give you permision to use any truth potion or truth charms on my boys." replied harry.

" an what if i, there mother does give her permission mister smarty pants." said jen.

" well dear, since you are a non-magical parent you can not give permission for anything. an before you go an yell at me, it was the international confederation of wizards idea to take away the right of non-magical parents in 1472, which was only 22 years after the founding of the interntional confederation of wizards an became the biggest law passed to date. when a 16 year old muggleborn who was not trained by orders of his parents got mad and started a fire with accidental magic. that fire claimed the lives of 148 people before it could be put out. there is also the fact that as a woman you have no legal right in the wizarding world, the consider you and the boys as my property just as a chicken or a cow would be." said harry.

" WHAT!! you have to be kidding me." yelled jen.

" sorry to say but your husband is not kidding. non-magical parents do not have a say in weather their children get a magical education or not. nor do women have the right to vote or own land. only white landowning males have the right to vote. also all women are considered property of their head of family be that their father or oldest brother or some other male family member until after the wedding when they then become property of their husband. an yes we have aranged marrages and doweries too. an if a child refuses to marry the person picked for them then they can be kicked out of the family. were in they would then have no last name and would never be likely to ever find someone else to marry them due to the shame it would bring to the family. an before you ask the only way for a woman to gain any kind of power is for her to be the last of her family line, an even then she is supposed to marry an turn that power over to her new husband. an the only woman i have heard of to directly go against this was about 20 years ago in england there was a high ranking woman in the goverment named umbridge who was the last of her line an refused to marry an used her family power to get the job in the ministry of magic. so even thou the job was a real job in title only she was the first to stand up for women, of course when the men finally figured out she was never going to marry they had her tossed in the mental ward at the local hospital an spit up her families property's. " said headmistress cole.

" then how is it that you are the headmistress of the school then?" asked jen.

" well after my arranged marrage to my husband, he decided that i should get a job to pull my own weight. an due to the very limited jobs out there for women i decided to become a teacher. an i worked my way up to the top after many long hard years of being passed over by fools who knew much less about the proper way to run the school then me. in the end the board of govenors decided to give me a try an if i did not work out they would just close the school. an i have been headmistess ever since, an that was 48 years ago." stated headmistress cole.

" now lets get back to a better topic. what was this " you were saying about pranking teachers is allowed? " asked harry hoping to change the subject before his wife could lead a full scale woman's rights movement on the wizarding world. an it is not that harry was against women or ANY being having the right to vote but the more noise his wife would make about it the more likely people would start digging into harry nighthawks life an figure out that harry nighthawk was just a made up name. it would be safer to have these ideas start elsewhere such as england using the name harry potter an his soon to be proxies the weasely twin's. because yes harry is going to use the fact he is heir to 3 of the founders of hogwarts to shake up the wizarding world.

" yes students are allowed to prank teachers. but as i said if the student gets caught each and every teacher gets to prank the student." stated headmistress cole.

" then i will make you a bet. 1,000 gallions for every time my boys get caught pulling a prank." said harry.

" are we talking a 1,000 gallions total per prank or a 1,000 gallions per child per prank?" asked geadmistress cole.

"per child of course." replied harry.

" darling what is the exchange rate for gallions to dollars?" asked a very worried jen.

" i think it should be about 10 dollars to the gallion, why?" asked harry.

" so you are betting this woman 10,000 dollars times 2 children which is 20,000 dollars per prank that they will not get caught. ARE YOU NUTS?!" yelled jen.

" no dear i am not nuts. an before you ask we can more then afford for them to get caught. since when i left england i had just over 500 million gallions in the bank, which is about 5 billion dollars. so we can more then afford for the boys to get caught everyday for the whole 7 years they are there." replied harry very calmly.

" 5 BILLION DOLLARS?!" yells jen in shock.

" yes dear 5 billion dollars, of course that was almost 20 years ago now so it is most likely more like 50 billion dollars by now." said harry as thou this was no big deal to be talking about cash amounts in the billions.

" 50 billion dollars?" asked jen who was near to passing out. since last she checked their accounts at the bank were only like 5 million dollars at most.

" yes dear, now before you pass out i think we should move on to other things to get your mind off money. unless you are thinking about buying me an island for my birthday, in which case i hear cuba is a nice place. now headmistress do you have a quiditch team at the school?" asked harry.

" well if you are thinking about buying your sons way onto a team you can forget about it. it does not matter how many gallions you have that would never happen as long as i am headmistress." stated headmistress cole.

" of course not. i would never think of such a thing. if my boys tried out for a team they would earn a spot just like everyone else." said harry.

" we do have one team. they play against the other 3 schools here in north america. since we only have about 140 students per school at any given time. we each field one full team plus a reserve team in case of accidents. of course we would have more students but with costs going up all the time we then have to charge more per student which then forces the parents to try an find a cheaper school. which as a result mean even fewer students per year. an thereby we have had to cut back on staff which would include the flying instuctor, an without a flying instutor to coach or money to buy newer brooms the quiditch team have not done as well in the games against the other schools." said headmistress cole.

" i am gonna make you an offer you can't refuse headmistress. an that offer is that i will take the job of flying instuctor for free AND buy everyone on your quiditch team a brand new top of the line broom. plus make a 1 million gallion a year donation to the school for every year my sons go to your school." said harry.

" an what do you get out of this deal mr. nighthawk?" questions headmistress cole who could not believe what she was hearing and had to do everything she could to keep from jumping for joy at this idea.

" i get to see to it that my lovely wife is not parted from her children for over 9 monthes a year." replied harry.

" what my stupid husband, who watches to many movies really ment was, he wants to make sure that our sons do not get caught pulling any pranks on the teachers. oh an by the way i think he has been waiting about 10 years for a chance to use that line from the godfather, so please humor the insane fool i call a husband, who seems to think nothing about giving away 10 million dollars a year just so he can help his children play pranks." supplied jen before anyone could say anything else.

now of course during this whole time stone and kyle are just sitting back and watching since their father is making a deal that would make it so they can prank the teachers.

" well mrs. nighthawk IF i took the insane fool as you put it, up on his offer then you would need something to do? now since you are a muggle an i am in need of a muggle studies teacher would you be willing to take the job?" asked headmistress cole.

" that would depend, how would i protect myself from anyone wanting to curse me since i am a muggle, and just what is muggle studies?" questioned jen.

" as far as protection goes i think i could afford to let you borrow a few house elves as body guards. an muggle studies is the study of muggles and the things they create. to make it so a wizard or witch who wanted to go into the muggle world would not stick out to much and jump at the slightest thing. for the most part you would just teach them to pass as a muggle." responded headmistress cole.

" since the insane fool here is getting a job at the school i may as well too. seeing as someone needs to keep an eye on all 3 of my children. mainly the big one who calls himself an adult." responded jen while looking at harry as if he WAS in fact one of the children.

" i have never called myself an adult, thank you very much." stated a rather annoyed harry.

" then it would seem we have ourselves a deal. this is the booklist which also works as a portkey. it will take you to the alley to do your shopping when those listed on it namely stone and kyle touch it and you all say wicked alley. it will also bring you back to where ever you left from when you say home. so if you leave from here it will bring you back here and if you leave from your home in boston it would take you there. it will also take you to the school by saying salem instute but do not worry about it leaving by mistake as you can see i said all 3 key words an i am still here, because as i said stone and or kyle must be touching it for it to work. now school starts on the first of september but as teacher you will need to be there one week before then. oh an since we will be working together you all can call me anna." stated headmistress cole as she put the book list on the table an headed for the door.

" it looks like we have a question to now answer. do we go to the park for the rest of the day or do we go check out this wicked alley?" questioned harry, of course it was in truth a stupid question but did have to be asked anyway.

" WICKED ALLEY!!" yelled the other 3 at the same time. 


	2. Chapter 2

an with that everyone ran off to get ready and headmistress cole went to her next meeting in a much better mood,even though she now had a 7 year prank war to worry about. of course headmistress cole had not been in a good prank war since right after she look over in 1987. that is when she started her revenge policy on all prankers who were caught, each teacher would get to pull one prank on the student. this then led to a 3 year prank war between the teachers and the students an no one was safe. you got caught an the teachers made sure you payed for it.

twenty minutes later harry and his family were ready. "now let me warn you portkeys are not the best form of travel but they are fast and pritty safe for those who can not apparate. the worst part is the landing. i never could get those down." said harry

"can we go already dad?" asked a very antsy kyle. "fine school books." an the next thing they knew they were making a very shakey landing in a very bright alley.

"everyone alright, o.k. first stop will be for wands considering they take the longest." an everyone set out trying to look at everything at the same time. which made the trip down the alley take five times as long as it should have since everyone wanted to look at everything. 45 minutes later they finally get to 'puce's perfect wands custom wands since 1523' as they were about to enter the shop harry saw something he could not believe it was a very big very orange building labeled w.w.w. he turned to jen and told her he had to go check on something. an told her if he was not back by the time the boys were done to meet him at the ice cream shop across the street. he then pulled out his pouch and gave her 100 gallions to make sure she had enough an dashed off toward w.w.w..

as he entered the shop he dodged a prant that was set off by the door opening. "ah you must be a repeat customer to know to dodge the prank, i myself have only been able to do that twice an i have been working here almost a month. my name is joe how can i help you?" asked a very exsited clerk.

"well it would seem i have talked myself into a prank war. so now i need some pranks, so how much for everything in the store an i do mean everything up front and in the storeroom?" asked harry.

"ever, ever, everything? that would be a great deal of money sir."said joe

before harry could resond he heard "joe just put up the closed sign and start packing it up. he is good for the money. hi there partner. now what is this i hear about a prank war, sounds like my kind of fun." said fred weasely.

"hi ah fred? long time no see. so how have you been?" asked a worried harry.

"just fine yourself? joe use the big exspandable trunks we use for international shipping. they are in the back an look like auror trunks but much bigger." answered fred.

"well since you have not hit me or hexed me or sent a killing curse my way i am doing fine. i have a wife and twin boys who will be starting at salem this year. from what the headmistress said you and that twin trouble maker you call a brother would love it there, no detentions for pulling prank but if you get caught an they can prove it was you the teachers get to prank you. of course you did not hear any of this from me because you have not seen me." said harry.

"harry don't worry mum will be happy to hear you are doing fine. yes i know she was very bad off after ron and piercy got killed in the war, but if you want i can tell them i met you in a muggle bar in L.A. since that is my next stop. an no one blames you that ron was so bent on proving himself to the world that he was willing to sell everyone out. of course i am sure the prat never even knew till it was too late that he was selling everyone out to the dark lord. it's just a good thing for us that only ron and pierce lost thier life that night. an no it had nothing to do with the fact you had just left the country. it was ron's own doing for not seeing that the friends who were going to help him make a name for himself in the war were deatheaters kids i mean they were hufflepuffs for merlins sake. heck even know-it-all granger never saw that coming an she was supposed to be the smart one. of course i am pritty sure the only reason my brother went on all your crazy adventures was in hopes of fame and gold. i really do think he should have been a slytherine, an no you do not need brains to be it that house but it does help i mean look at crabb and goyle. but on to more pleasent topics, since you are family and our partner then i guess my nephews should have the new super secret prank pack not even in stores yet." said fred. "an speaking of kids me and angelina are about to have our 5th. an yes i know poor hogwarts, but you think that is bad my dear twin and katey are about due for thier 6th. bill and fluir just had thier 3rd two weeks ago. the only reason i think they don't have more by now is because fluer is worried about her figure. charley is shacked up with some girl who is as crazy about dragons as he is an she has one on the way, but you did not hear that from me. ginny and seamus are working on thier 4th an it is due in about a month or so. poor hogwarts will never be the same."said fred" oh an by the way you might want to stop in a bank sometime soon. it looks like insanity runs in the dumbledore family line. from what i heard aborforth is trying to get the wizumgot to change the laws so that any vault at gringotts that is inactive for 15 years or more means the family is dead an thereby the wizumgot can take the money."

"no worries my account has always had money going into it. an now that i am back it will have money going out also. of course i do not think it is my account he is after, i am sure there are a lot of dead accounts at the bank after 4 wars in less then 100 years. so i think your father should stop in an do an inheritance potion an yes i know he most likely did one when he turned 17 but look at how many people have died since then you all could have 50 vaults waiting on you. an as far as changing goblin law i don't think it will happen. have you ever thought about why wizards do not just wipe out goblins an take over the bank. well i will tell you why we can't. wizards think wandless magic is the top level of magic an if that is true how many wizards can do it 5 maybe 10 but how many goblins can do wandless magic? i will tell you they all can.so they could wipe us out no problem, why don't they then well they like thier jobs an the only time they get pissed at us an kick our asses is when we forget that they are stronger magicaly then us. an we then try to push them around. i mean even grabbe and goyle could figure out after 5 or 6 goblin rebellions that they should be wiped out an the wizards then get all that profit not the goblins. house elves could just as simpley take our wands while we sleep an we would be helpless after that too. so wizards are not as all powerful as we think we are." said harry

"speaking of house elves guess who has been working for us an is a big reason we now have 11 different stores?" asked fred

"i would answer that but then he is likely to show up an i do not have all day to deal with him jumping for joy at seeing me or sobbing that i am back an the greatest wizard ever." replyied harry.

"the problems with being loved are just never ending. or would it be more correct to say worshipped as a god." snickered fred

after about 20 more minutes of talking "i would love to stay an chat some more fred but the wife and kids are waiting the boys went to get thier wands. oh an as far as the cost of everything take it out of my profits an i mean that fred this is a business and i am a customer so just do it." said harry.

"if you insist, joe you got that order ready yet.?" yelled fred.

"yah it's ready when he is. pre-shrunk an all." yelled joe.

"well i better get moving unless i want to be sleeping on the couch. an as i said it was great to see you fred, an if you ever get to salem come find thier new flying instrutor he could most likely use the help ." said harry.

"ah you better get out of here i know what it is like to be in the dog house with the wife." said fred as he handed harry his boxes and shoved him out the door. at that same time jen and the boys came out of the wand shop.

"so did you finish your business?" asked jen as the boys were both trying to be the first to show harry thier new wand.

"yep an you do not want to be near hogwarts for the next 20 years or so, because it seems that there are going to be at least 15 weasely's at hogwarts over the next 20 years. an i dout that they are threw breeding yet. so the number is only going to go up, who knows before this generation is done it could be as high as 30 or more." stated harry.

"that poor school."was jen's only answer. they then spent the rest of the day finishing thier shopping. the boys loved the visit to the broom store an the idea that they could fly but harry told them they had to wait until school for flying lessons due to the law about muggles seeing magic. an after thier trip to get school supplies they spent the next three weeks just having fun at the amusement park. it was only going to be one week but they were having so much fun they decided to stay longer. an harry did receive a letter from fred 3 days after thier trip to the alley.

dear partner, you were right as always dad went to the bank after i flooed him an found out we have 47 vaults coming to us. it was a big shock since when he came of age all he got was the burrow an a few hundred gallions even thou he was the oldest an his parents were dead an he and his sibling were living with our crazy aunt marry. of course i guess any money my grandparents had went to put dad and his 5 siblings threw school. an seeing how hogwarts costs 4,000 gallions a year per student that would have been 140,000 gallions so we should be lucky he got anything. an yes we did use our first profits to pay dad what it cost to put us 7 threw school.

"an if that law passes which you say it won't but if it does then that means ol' dumbledore would have just had to wait a few more years an he would have had it all. the greedy old fool. i think this calls for fliers in every order we send out warning people about this. an just think you are sirius heir an since the malfoys are all wiped out you could be in line to become even richer. an yes i know the mutt is still around but since he gave you control of the family titles and money to force them to give him a trail and admit they screwed up that still makes you head of the black family." all hale the new lord malfoy.

"dad went an devided up all the vaults between us kids saying he had no need for all that gold. we each got nine vaults an dad kept 2 for him and mom.so it now looks like we can all aford to have several dozen kids each poor hogwarts. we also got 2 seats on the wizumgot only minor seats but it is a start given time we could turn those into one of the 37 major lords seats. well got to go now time is money you know.

oh before i forget someone an i will not say who may have made mention to a rather hyper little friend telling him that 'the great an wonderful bestest wizard in the whole world' might be found at salem soon have fun. your partner fred

after reading that harry did decide to stop by the bank in salem himself since it had been almost 20 years since he left england.

harry popped in wicked witches alley an headed to the bank after standing in the line for 10 minutes he finally got to the front.

"how can i help you?" asked a rather gruff looking goblin.

"i would like to see someone about taking the inheritance potion." said harry.

"alright step over there an wait someone will be with you shortly." of course the goblin was a bit anoyed at harry since that was not his department which meant he would not be getting any profit from him. an harry knew this from his talks with griphook the ranking at the bank was dragon dung cleaning was the lowest then came running the carts after that you became a teller an if you were lucky then a manager of either an account or some department or if lucky curse break since they get a cut of everything found. an if you made enough profit there you could buy your way onto the local bank council. very few ever went from there to goblin council only one goblin from each bank got that honor an you then had to wait until the goblin from your bank died before someone else could take thier place. of course killing your way to the top was not unheard of for goblins.

of course if you are human you are never thought of as anything other then a dragon dung cleaner even thou the only two jobs a human can hold are curse breaker or working in the muggle branches of the bank. harry sat an waited 20 more minutes before he heard.

"i was told you wanted to take an inheritance potion. fallow me my name is crankjaw i will be helping you today." an with that harry was lead into a small office. due to the lack of size to the office harry figured this goblin must be new to the managment level.

"all right stick out your hand so i can cut it an drip your blood onto this parchment an we will find out what if anything you are due to inherit."said the goblin in a very business type tone so harry did as he was told an held it out to be cut.

after several drops of blood fell on the paper harry's hand was healed. now all they had to do was wait. about 15 minutes later the paper stopped glowing.

"it would seem you have done this before mr. potter or should i say mr. nighthawk since acording to this that is what you are going by now. well since that is the case we can skip the first few lines as you already know about them. if i am reading this right half of great britain must have been wiped out." said the goblin

"more like 3/4 of all wizarding great britains people were wiped out in the war." said harry

"oh in that case this makes sence then. well this says you now have 427 new vaults ( the reason harry has so many vaults is he is head of the black, potter and evens families which are all pureblood and everyone they are related too got wiped out so harry gets everything.) 4 new major seats on the british wizumgot bringing that total to 8 an 19 new minor seats bringing that total to 20. also you are now head of the malfoy family total members of the family 1. you are also head of the nott, crabb, goyle, parkinson, snape, bones, fudge, avery, lastranges, crouch and riddle families total number of people in all these families 1. an before you ask they all are related to you threw the black family. there are also 52 other families you are head of and sole member of on the potter and evens side of your family. acording to this your new net worth for this alone in gallions is 143.7 billion. your total assets are another 892.5 billion this would include stock in companies, bonds and properties and assets in your vaults that are not gallion such as books, jewals, funiture and weapons. how you got that much is simple acording to this your great grandfather was david evens was minister of magic for a short time and during his time as minister he made a loan to the ministry which it would appear no one knew about an the terms that he the minister agreed to set down by the contract stated that the ministry had 100 years to repay the loan from mr. david evens head of the evens family an if this loan was not repayed in full at 100 interest per month then at the time the loan was due which was 3 years ago if it was not payed the evens family would then hold legal ownership of the ministry of magic of great britain. so it would appear mr. nighthawk you now own a country. it would also seem that due to a law mr. albus dumbledore got passed in 1982, you now have total control over hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardy until such time as the ravenclaw and hufflepuff heirs come of age." ( the reason for this law was so i did not have to kill off any heirs. most people just kill off the hufflefuff heir an that way harry is 2/3 owner of the school. or make him heir to 3 of the families.)

harry could not believe his ears not only does he have control of hogwarts he also owns the ministry of magic this was just too much."well as far as houses, jewalry, painting, clothes, furniture, trunks, and weapons go you can take them from all but the potter vault and sell them so that only the potter family vault holds family heirlooms. as far as the books go send all books that i own both from the vaults and the homes to potter mantion. as for my seats on the wizumgot an cotrols of the british ministry of magic and control of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry those will all be held in procksy by mr.'s fred and george weasely until i say otherwise. an if the wizumgot of great britain wishes to buy back thier ministry they can do so for 500 billion gallions in gold to be payed in full up front no payment plan of any kind will be considered. an i would like all my accounts linked together so as long as i make transactions on one of them it will count as being on all of them since mr. dumbledore is trying to pass a law saying any account inactive for 15 years is forfit to the wizumgot, an yes i know you goblins would not inforce such a law but just in case he may be able to bribe someone at the local level. "said harry as he broke out laughing at the idea of fred and george running the goverment and hogwarts.

"as you wish mr. nighthawk an as far as bribery goes he has tried that before in 1982, and lost his gringotts privalages for a year as a result. he could not even touch any accounts his name was on. he had to send other who's name was also on the account to do his business. and no he could not fool us by using the name aborforth dumbledore, yes we know he now has a new name and we do not care as we do not care that mr. harry potter is now going by the name harry nighthawk." said the goblin.

"oh before i go have everything in all british ministry of magic vaults sent to the potter family vaults. and send all the house elves at all these houses i now own to salem institute, tell the headmistress they are a loan." said harry as he got up to leave. harry also had the goblins invest for him to get total ownership of a muggle company called playstation from it's owner sony, with the intent of putting all of there games on-line as part of a pay monthly gaming sites since he had seen 1 or 2 of those kinds of sites before and saw how much of a profit could be made in the on-line gaming world charging people 20 dollars a month to play thier favorite games on-line with other from around the world. figuring there are almost 250 million playstation 3's out there putting each game on it's own site at 20 dollars a month plus taking the older games and bundling them into a "classic playstation " site with say 20 games on that site also bundling thing like sports games onto 1 site and bundling some stratagy and war games together. if he could get the right people to run the sites he could pull in billions in profit each year since playstation has so many different game. a different site for each game the numbers were mind blowing.

six hours later at the new w.w.w. of L.A. there was a floo call back to england. from mr. fred weasely to mr. george weasely.

"dear brother of mine you will not believe what i found out when i went to the bank just a few minutes ago."said fred

"are they giving away a free dragon with every new account." replied george.

"no but i think we could get some dragons if we wished, because it looks like our partner somehow owns not only tempeary control of hogwarts but also he owns the ministry outright an has given control of both hogwarts and the ministry to us threw procksy along with 8 major seats and 20 minor seats on the wizumgot."said fred.

"so you mean not only do we get to run hogwarts but the whole ministry as well. i always knew taking him on as a brother and partner was a great idea. so what do we do first desolve the house system at hogwarts, an thereby seperating everyone by grade?" asked george.

"well i see no better way to introduce ourselves as the new supreme rulers of wizarding great britain." stated fred

20 minutes later found two very happy pranksters standing at the doors to the great hall at hogwart.

"so are you ready to rule the world." asked fred.

"after you my dear twin."said george. an with that they stroaled into the great hall as if they owned it an in a way they did.

"what do you two want you can not petal your pranks here, all of your products are against school rules. an you will not be using my students as your human ginny pigs." stated headmistress mcgonical.

"oh but that is were you are wrong my dear minny. from now on any student found to not have at least one of our products will spend one week helping mr. filch clean the floors." said fred

"an from this point on there is no longer be a house system here at hogwarts. all students will be classed by grade only, as well as housed by grade only." stated george

"you two have no right to change school rules, now leave before i have you two cleaning floors with mr. filch for the next year." said a very annoyed headmistress.

"ah but that is were you are wrong again my dear lady.we do have every legal right.as of this very afternoon we now have total legal control over hogwarts until the hufflepuff and ravenclaw heirs come of age." stated george

"acording to the law albus dumbledore himself got passed. any heir who is head of thier family and has reached thier majority or a party working on there behalf has total control over hogwarts until such time as other heirs also reach thier majority, and in the event of a tie were eather two or more heirs can not agree who have reached thier majority the headmaster or headmistress will break the tie." said fred

"in short harry potter is of age and heir to two founders and since the other heirs are still minors until they come of age he has total control of hogwarts. an he has seen fit to turn said control over to us. so now all bow to your new rulers the weasely twins." said george

"no one in thier right mind would turn a school over to you two. i will see what the ministry has to say about this." said a very shocked headmistress.

"i say it is very legal. what about you dear brother?" asked fred

"i agree with you of course dear brother, oh did we forget to mention harry also owns the ministry. which he left us in charge of as well." said george

"dobby!" yelled fred which was followed by the pop of a house elf entering. "dobby begin remodel hogwarts plan number 1. start with housing the first years in the dungeon and work your way up. an make sure you put quarters for the teachers that are in charge of each year attached to the common room so they can keep an eye on thier students." said fred.

"yes sir anything you say my lord." said dobby as he bowed an tried to keep a straight face as he popped away. dobby did know what was going on an agreed it was insane to put fred and george in charge of the ministry and hogwarts but he also knew with them in charge things would never be boring.

one hour later as fred and george were sitting on thier throwns in the great hall an yes they had created real throwns a very pissed off aborforth dumbledore came charging in.

"what is all this noncense about you all owning this school and the ministry of magic!" bellowed mr. dumbledore.

"sir it is not a joke it is true an you should know it since your own brother was the one to get the board of goveners to pass the rights and privalages act for heirs." said a very calm fred.

"oh an by the way mr. dumbledore we have disbanded the board of govenors so you are stuck with us until the hufflepuff and ravenclaw heirs both come of age which will not be for 10 more years. since we have rewritten the rule slightly so that they must be of age before they can allow anyone to vote for them by procksy." said a rather smug george.

"well we will see about that. the ministry can over rule even the founders themselves." stated dumbledore figureing he would not be out smarted by a couple of children.

"you are right about that but that calls for the minister and the full major wizumgot to be in agreement. an since all 4 founders hold a major seat i do not think you will get us to vote against ourselves. see the founders were smart when they wrote the law an no one bothered to think about the wording they the founders were using." said fred.

now since dumbledore knew a lost cause when he heard one he decided to move on. "so what is this about you owning the ministry?" asked a very unhappy dumbledore.

"we don't own the ministry harry does we are only running it for him by procksy. you see his great grandfather was minister david evens who was only in office for a short time just over 100 years ago. an while in office he made a contract wereby lord david evens head of the evens clan loaned the ministry some money an if it was not repayed within 100 years the evens clan became rightful owners of the ministry. an it would seem that loan was never repayed thereby the evens clan legaly own the ministry." said fred.

"you can not make a contract with yourself." stated dumbledore

"it would apear you can since gringotts says the contract is legaly binding." stated george "but harry is not heartless, he says the wizumgot can buy the ministry back for 500 billion gallions." replied fred.

"are you crazy! he wants us to pay him 500 billion gallions for our own ministry! never we will fight him on this! you can tell mr. potter he just got himself a war!" yelled dumbledore.

"aurors arrest mr. dumbledore for threatening to over throw the rightful goverment of magical great britain. oh an by the way ALBUS i do think the goblins have a few charges to bring against you as well." stated fred "dobby now" an with that the great albus dumbledore found himself hanging upside down and naked without a wand.

"what is the meaning of this albus died fighting you-know-who everyone knows that." stated the headmistress

"wrong albus never died but aborforth dumbledore did in 1932 acording to gringotts records. now aurors i do believe there are a team of goblins waiting outside to arrest mr. albus dumbledore so if you will let them do there job. oh an by the way headmistress no longer will mr. binns teach history and there will no longer be divianation classes at this school instead that room will be renamed in honor of the true murauders prongs, padfoot, and moony and teach the study of pranks and jokes. the teacher will be mr. lee jordan. an if you can not live with the way we run our school i am sure we can find someone else to do your job. " said george

an with that albus dumbledore was arrested, and the headmistress left to figure out how she could save her school from the twins while there was still a school left to save.

" now guys that was by far one of the greatest shows i have ever seen. " said siriuse who has been teaching at hogwarts since he got free.

" i thank you professor black. an i see you brought the lovely mrs. professor black with you as well. " said fred

" it would also seem as thou they brought a little black along too. so how many is that for you now siriuse 4 or 5?" asked goerge

" this little one who is due any day now will by number 6. an yes i know poor hogwarts. an now that albus has finally been dealt with maybe i can now go on vacation without being followed by 2 or 3 order members. it seems every time i leave this castle i have at least 2 shadows. i have been waiting almost 20 years for harry to take albus down." stated siriuse

"now siriuse if an EDUCATED man were to FLY over to AMERICA they might find what they have lost. but sorry we have no more time for chit chat we do have a country to run you know. " said fred as he and goerge got up to head to the doors.

" an what was that all about ?" asked sue black to her husband.

" well since the twins stressed the words educated, fly and america i would think my godson is teaching flying in america somewhere." answered siriuse.


	3. Chapter 3

discliamer: i still do not own harry potter.

at gringotts bank london local council chainbers " dumbledore i am hookfoot head of the local goblin coucil. you have been brought here to face charges brought by griphook accounts manager for the potter family. the charges read as followed inpersonateing legal magical guardain, now since sirius black was mr. potter legal guardain magical and otherwise an you mr. dumbledore using your power as head of the wizumgot illegaly removed mr. blacks rights over his godson and gave those rights to yourself everything you did after then in regards to mr. potter and gringotts was illegal. now the reason we did not bring charges earlier was mr. potter was the wronged party here an if he does not want you charged there is nothing we can do. it would seem mr. potter has at this time asked griphook his accounts manager to bring charges against charges read as such 1 count inpersonateing mr. potter legal magical guardain since mr. black was never found guilty of any crime to thereby have his guardainship legaly removed, the fine for this will be 1 billion gallions. 185 counts of tampering with gringotts owls namely intersepting every owl sent to mr. potter from the time of his parents death until his 16th birthday, the fine for that is 1 million gallions per offence totaling 185 million gallions. theft of money from the potter family vault totaling 942 million gallion which is the sum stolen plus the interest it would have gained. also theft from hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry which mr. potter is part owner the money we can prove at this time that belonged to mr. potter as heir to two founders is 273 million gallion which is the money stolen and the interest it would have made. you are also being charged with 1 count of ordering the kidnapping of mr. harry potter at the age of 15 months old for the purpose of keeping him from his rightful inheritance this was carried out by one mr. hagred who was at that time in your employ at hogwarts. the penalty for the kidnapping is 10 years in our prison. an let us not forget the worst of your crimes aiding and abedding in child abuse seeing how acording to the paperwork here mr. potter suffered over 200 broken bones, a punchered lung on at least 3 different dates and more burn and brouses then he can remember while in the home you yourself put him in. the penalty for this will most likely be death but we will leave that up to mr. potter to decide. it is a shame his other so called family are already dead because i would love to be the one to kill all 4 of you for those crimes alone. mr. potter also wishes you charged with 3 additional counts of attemped murder of him to get his money for the events of his 1st, 2nd, and 4th years at hogwarts. an since we already plan on taking all your money and most likely your life then the penalty for this will be your body will be displayed at the london branch of gringotts with a full list of your crimes for no less then 300 years. 100 years per count. now since we already have the proof of all the above listed crimes you albus dumbledore will pay mr. harry potter 2 billion 400 million gallions and hand over title of head of the dumbledore family to mr. potter. an gringotts will see to it that you do pay it because any and all vaults, stocks and properties you own will be taken an the first thing we will take is your so called cherity vaults and your seats on the wizumgot and the international confederation of wizards. an since we are taking all vaults with your name on them those would include the international confederation of wizards vaults and the wizumgot vaults. since they have yet to confirm the transfer of title of mr. potter. you will also spend at least ten years in our prison. you are also being acused of being involved in the murder of lily and james potter and the attempted murder of mr. harry potter. the penulty for the charge of attempted murder is life in prison. the penulty for the murder charges is death. now mr. potter has given us pensive memories that show you confessed to giving mr. severus snape a prophesy to then have him give it to the dark lord, now since same said prophosey is the reason the potters were killed then you mr. dumbledore are guilty of aiding in thier murders for profit. now since you, mr. snape, mr. riddle and mr. pettigew are all involved, but i would seem that the other three are already dead all of thier vaults, titles, properties, stocks, and bonds at the time of thier legal deaths will be turned over. as for you mr. dumbledore mr. potter wishes for us to wait an pass your judgement until it is heard from your own mouth for the world to hear. an we will find out about it mr. dumbledore we are going to use one of our truth potions an before you get to happy no your mind shields will not do you any good. oh an mr. potter wanted to let you know the sorcerers stone that you did not distroy in his first year is a fake acording to mr. flumel. an we did check on mr. flumel this morning and you will be happy to know he is alive and well an does have his stone which he proved to us by turning lead into gold. now to prove we are not tatally heartless mr. dumbledore we are taking into account you and your groups actions during the last 2 dark lord wars against mr. riddle. an i do believe do to the fact you worked for the ministry and gave information to a group not officailly allied with the legal and rightful goverment of great britain then that is an act of treason. now pending you walk out of her alive at some point we will then hand you over for the wizards to kill for treason." stated hookfoot

albus was not having a good day not only had potter given his hogwarts to those weasley brats and figured out a way to take away the ministry he had worked so hard to build just the way he wanted now it looked as if he was broke and facing at least 10 years in goblin prison but death if all his secrets got out. he only had one choice left to keep most of his good name in tacked an that was the poison tooth he had put in back during the grindawald war. all the people in his group had them incase they got captured since it was well known that no prisoner ever got out alive. so he did the one thing he never hoped he would ever have to do suicide. by the time the goblins knew what was happening it was to late mr. albus dumbledore was really dead this time.

the same day in the daily prophet ministry for sale it has come to this reporters attention that the ministry of magic is truely for sale. you heard me right the ministry of magic is for sale for 500 billion gallions. believe it or not it is true it turns out that 103 years ago then minister of magic david evens who only held the post for six months do to corruption charges made a deal with himself lord david evens head of the evens clan that in exchange for a loan made to the ministry if said loan was not repayed in 100 years the ministry would then become property of the evens clan. acording to gringotts bank the contracts is legal. it would appear that mr. harry potter that right the-boy-who-lived-to-run-away is the heir of former lord david is a holder not only of the ministry but is heir to 2 of the founders of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. he also holds 8 major seats and 20 minor seats on the wizumgot. an all of the afor mentioned items have been left in the care of mr.s fred and george weasley. when we tried to get a hold of aborforth dumbledore current head of the wizumgot we were informed to contact gringott's went to gringotts bank an found that mr. aborforth dumbledore died in 1932 and that albus dumbledore has been poseing as his dead brother ever since. when we tried to find out why he would do this we were told that yesterday albus dumbledore was arrest by gringotts bank on charges of theft from the potter family and fined 2 billion 400 million gallions and also his seats on the wizumgot and the international confederation of with his title as head of the dumbledore family, also all vaults with mr. dumbledores name were also taken an those would include the international confederation vault along with the wizumgots vault. it was also reported to us before mr. dumbledore could be given a truth potion and asked about his involvement in the murders of lily and james potter along with the deaths of several other people he commited suicide by biteing down on a poison capsule he had hidden as one of his now means mr. potter now holds 16 major seats and 20 minor seats on the what we have found out from mr. richard slump acting head of the wizumgot they have gotten a loan from the goblins to buy back the readers it looks like our taxes will be going up so that we can rebuy our ministry. acording to a statement from mr.s fred and george weasely who represent mr. potter by procksy. they will gladly sell the wizumgot the ministry back but they had a condition of thier own to add to the 500 billion gallions mr. potter condition is that all laws against magical creatures be removed and that no much laws ever be created again all magic creatures are to be treated as farely as any witch or wizard. mr. richard slump agreed to this condition so the wizumgot has 2 weeks to change the laws or mr. potter will get ownership of the ministry again as well as getting to keep the 500 billion gallions he already reseaved. of course that does seem a little unfare that he should get both but i am not one to complain, since i am sure most of you do recall the land mark case of potter verses the daily profit in which our boss harry potter suid the old owners for liable, slander, and defamation of character an won a 500 million gallion law suite an since the old owner could not pay he instead took ownership of this very course no one has seen or heard from mr. potter since that trail in august of 1996, 19 years ago.

one week later in the great hall

"how can i get you two to return this school back to the way it was?" asked a rather anoyed headmistress who has tried everything she could but since the twins had harry's seats on the wizumgot then they of course would be no help.

an since the minister does not make the laws but only inforces them, even thou the wizumgot now reowned the ministry the minister would be useless. an as for the international confederation of wizards, well since albus was found out to be a crook and may have had a hand in the potters murders as well as to mention the twins now had his seat on behalf of england an a new member could not be voted in by the wizumgot for 2 more years thier help was out.

"what you can do is nothing, because it is you that have caused us to have to do this." said fred.

"you see the ministry of magic of great britain was created in 1224 a.d. and since then there have been 17 major wizard wars in this country. 4 of those in the last 100 years an 3 of those in just over 50 years. of those 17 wars 14 of the dark lords were slytherines as were over 70 of thier army." said george

" of course markus who started world war 1 and grindawald who started world war 2 were leaders during world wars so that does offset the numbers of slytherines slightly." stated fred.

"so you see headmistress you all think slytherines are dark wizards so you discriminate against them and thereby force them to become dark wizards. "stated george

"so you create a self fofilling are here to end all that forever." said fred

"also something that has not been made public knowledge yet is that all ministry personal, all wizumgot personal, and all hogwarts personal will be checked every 6 months with goblin truth serum to find those commiting crimes or that are dark wizards an if found guilty they will be given the dementors kiss."said george

"if the court agrees they deserve it of course. the penulty for being a dark wizard is loss of all money and titles and life in no wizumgot ruling can change that the only thing they can decide is if the dark wizard lives or dies."said fred.

"also goblin trueth serum will be used in all trails from now wizards will no longer be allowed to ruin this country, they will be jailed or killed." stated george

of course the one thing no one knew was that azkaban prison was also signed over since the ministry owned it but the twins signed that over to harry directly so that even when the wizumgot bought the ministry back the prison and the dementores that guard the prison stayes in harry's name. so he sets the prisons rules and how much the prison charges the ministry to keep said prisoners, an if the ministry does not wish to pay well we can always set the prisoners free.

back to the present.

"so is everyone packed to go?" asked harry.

"yes dear the boys have been packed since last night. something about you telling them if they were not packed when you were ready to go they had to stay behind." replied jen

"now sweet heart do you really think i would threaten our boys like that?" asked harry

"yes i do. now get our things into the other room so we can go." said jen

an with that they were off on a new they soon landed at salem institutes front doors.

"ah harry i am so glad you all made it. oh an harry i have some good news and bad news for you to relay to mr. potter the next time you see would seem that some of the british wizumgot is not too happy with him since they will now be paying back the goblins a loan for the next 300 -400 years. but on the brighter side it would apear that the brits. are cleaning house of all dark wizards and crooks in thier goverment and that has greatly increased the number of people who wish to live there so much that the international confederation of wizards is thinking about making it a world wide program, because if they don't from the looks of things most folks are just going to up and move to britain. so they can have themselves a crook free goverment. so even thou the crooks and dark wizards may not like mr. potter i am sure everyone else would love to throw him a party even if they do now have higher taxes as a result, at least now no crooks will be stealing the magical creatures are now joining in the migration since the creation of the position of multpule ministers one from each magical race. the vampires, dwarves, centures, the werewolves, goblins, veela, and even the house elves have a seat, is now in affect thier. an i almost forgot we will have very few house elves around until the school year starts. it seems hogwarts is doing a little remodeling they are adding 3 new dorms. since they decided to do away with the house system due to the fact it caused discrimination against a 1/4 of it's students and said discrimination is being blamed for the large numbers of dark wizards and thereby so many wizarding wars in thier country. they have had twice as many wizarding wars as any other country in history. so as i said we will have very few elves right now a very nice but very hyper elf named dobby was told we may have a few to spare for a little while an of course the elves were happy for the extra work. now follow me so i can take you to your rooms." said anna.

as the headmistress took them threw the building harry was able to see that it was not just one building but it looked as if this school had a different building for each class, which means it must have held many more students at one time then attend also seemed that this school had figured out how to make muggle items work using magic because there was flurecent overhead lighting. there was also what looked to be a high tech. security system. thier rooms seemed to be in the teachers building away from everyone else. the rooms themselves were very nice, they looked like a suite at a room, kitchen, and two bedrooms with each bedroom having it's own bathroom an even a small diningroom.

"i hope you like your rooms an if you want to change anything you can." stated the headmistress.

"i am sure we will be fine. thank you anna."said before harry could say anything else the door banged open and he was attacked. of course since he knew his attacker the curse he was ready to throw died on this lips.

"dora what are you doing here? i thought you and my fea bag of an uncle were back in england?" said harry.

"no. after you dumped me an i married remus which you know about since you were his best man an i helped you find a place over here we decided to join you, but we did not want to blow your cover since the old man had his bird club following us. i guess they figured we would lead them to and i have spent 13 years teaching defence here and 14 summers giving the bird club the run around while we see the world. remus will be happy to see you harry but i am sure you know he is not at his best right now, that time of the month you know." said tonks.

"i think you should let go of my neck and i should answer some questions before my wife here kills me." stated harry

of course anna who had not made it to the door yet was trying not to bust out laughing at what was going on.

"well honey i already told you all this but do to the look on your face it would seem to have slipped your mind .so there goes when i was 16 dora and i started dating while i was still in england. we were dateing for about 6 months when my abopted uncle remus decided to tell dora here how he felt about her. he was only trying to clear the air between the three of us so there would be no big blowup later. of course dora and i already knew how remus felt about her an were only killing time until he decided to speak up. so when he did speak up dora and i broke up and 4 weeks later i was best man at thier wedding. an right after that dora here got me a house here in the states an i moved here not to see them again until now." said harry

"now dad that still leaves one problem. i may only be 11 but we have had 'the talk' an if memory serves me correct only women can have that time of the month. so does that mean your uncle remus is really your aunt remus an that she is in a female to female marrage with mrs. dora here." stated stone who did remember remus was a man but could not pass up the chance at the great joke.

an since jen now remembered the talk with harry she also recalled that remus was a werewolf an that he changed once a when she put 2+2 together she fell over laughing. of course the other 3 adults had figured it out sooner and were also on the floor laughing.

"no son remus is most definately male the statement about that time of the month was in refference to the fact that remus is a werewolf not a female." stated harry

"an what would you know about female to female marrage stone?" asked jen hoping her son would say he knew nothing about them.

"well first off we did have cable t.v. back home. an dad told us about male to female, male to male and female to female during 'the talk' an said how it was not wrong as long as both people love each other that is all that really matters. an if others do not like the idea that is thier problem." stated stone.

"well getting back to uncle remus. so you know boys your uncle remus was one of your grandfathers best friends, as you should remember from the stories i told you about my life. an thereby one of the best pranksters england has even seen."

"ah harry if i were you i would watch out anna here does not have a problem using truth serum to find out who pulled pranks" said dora.

"yes but truth serum can only be used on a minor with the parents or magical guardains consent an i do not give said consent."replied harry.

"an what if i as thier mother give my consent, mr. smarty pants?" said jen.

"well sweetheart since you are a muggle, by wizarding law you can't give consent."said harry "an before you get mad at me that law is almost 800 years old. it was inacted by the international confederation of wizards in 1224 after a muggle family did not want thier son to go to a wizard school an later he ended up blowing up his whole family due to accidental magic. so now each muggleborn is given a legal magical guardain by the department of magical child welfare."

"so if both of us were muggles we would have no say over our own children?" asked jen

"well would you rather our childeren not go to a magical school an thereby end up blowing us or themselves up?" replied harry.

"of course not, but to take away all thier rights is just wrong." said jen

"honey i never said the magical world was a perfect world." relpied harry.

"well harry we here in america have a close to perfect world because here we do let the parents have some say. we always used goblin truth serum and pensives in all legal matter. so if a child is thought to be abused we know for sure. even if the parent is a wizard we play no favorites when it comes to our children. it also keeps down the number of crooks and liers, it also helps in catching little pranksters."said anna.

"speaking of little pranksters remus and i are working on having our 7th. she is due in about 4 months."said dora.

"7? how did you talk remus into 1 let alone 7?"asked harry

"well our first james who is now 15 was not really planned. he kind of just happened after a little too much drinking after a new years eve party."said dora

"boys it sounds like you will either have lots of competition pranking teachers or lots of help." said harry "so let me help you 2 put your stuff away while your mother and aunt dora get started on thier girl talk."

an as a result harry got 2 death glares. one from dora since she did not think of herself as a gossip, an the other from his wife for leaving him with this woman she had only heard about. of course once the guys left it did not take long for the girls to get along once the ice was broken.

"all right boys let talk pranks. the main problem as i see it will be getting from place to place without getting found out. now this window behind you seems to have an means all windows most likely do. it most likely has 3 setting home, away, and off. now if you could look threw a window and see the key pad you would know which setting it is on."said harry

"so how does that help us out then?" asked stone.

"if the alarm is set to off we can open the window an not set of the alarm of course." replied kyle.

"yah but how do we get to the window if it is not on the first floor?" asked stone.

"dad is the flying instuctor so we just 'borrow' some brooms, without him knowing of course. then we fly from our dorm. to the teachers window set the prank an fly back. an as long as we know where the motion sencers are at outside ahead of time an avoid them it's a piece of cake." said kyle.

"see now your learning to think like a prankster son. of course you can not always use that method or they will soon get wise. an of course it would not be my fault if you two were to find some necklaces that when worn turned you two into cat would it. so that way you could use the hallways without setting off the motion sencers an trigoring the cameras to start taping. since i dout they are set to pick up something as small as an animal, because if they were everyones pet would always be setting them off. it also would not be my fault if you two asked a house elf for help from time to time in slipping something into a teachers drink or maybe popping you from place to place. an i could not get blamed if you two happened to find a whole stores worth of prank items in your room. an i am going to tell you something most people have forgotten about magic an that is that the rules don't matter only picturing what you want to happen and pouring intent and desire into it matter, with intent and desire you can do anything even what others think is impossible acording to the rules an that is because the rules governing magic do not matter only intent and desire matter. the rules were created to prevent dark wizards for figuring out they could wipe out a whole city with 1 curse. now what we are going to do is learn magic by my rules and thereby learn what should take a year doing it the schools way in a month and thereby give you the rest of each year to goof off." said harry as he took out the boxes from w.w.w. an tapped them so that they inlarged. an showed the boys how to reshink them by only touching the box and saying "shrink" or "inlarge".

"but dad by that rule then you could have saved the people back in england right?" asked stone.

"yes i could have but then they would have never learned to stand up for themselves son. you see son they have learned if they hide under thier beds long enough someone will come along and save them instead of them standing up and facing thier fears on thier own. so it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do but yes i let them learn that lesson the hard way. you see if there was an attack on an alley with 200 witches and wizards instead of using thier wands to fight the 10 or 20 dark wizards they would just run and hide. an in doing so they gave more power to the dark wizards instead of fighting an turning that attack into a lesson that everyone could learn from an everyone fight back the lesson became run and hide an someone else will save us, but now they know if we work together no dark wizards can stand against us. you have to stand up to bullies or they will continue to bully you." said harry.

"dad by the rule of intent and desire should you not have more then just a dragon form as an animogus then?" asked stone

" yes you are learning fast. you are right i do, i can turn into any animal i want but you do not think i would say that in front of your mother or the headmisteress do you. got to keep a few secrets don't i? an yes you will learn to become animougus in time as well don't worry." said harry

he then took the time to ward the trunks so that only he and the boys could even see them let alone touch them. by the time he was done even mad eye moody would be proud. he did not go as far as to use the fadelose charm on it but it was keyed to only be seen by those with potter blood. he then left the boys so they could read what all thier new pranks did . an harry made sure everything had complete instuction on how to use them.

as he walked back into the kitchen he heard.

"well the reason we only have the boys is harry. it took him 3 years just to ask me to marry him, and another 2 years to talk him into wanting kids." said jen

"are you trying to tell me harry is shy, i can't believe that. not after dating me and the creevey brother's." said dora.

"wait wasn't the creevey brother's part of the harry potter fan club thing he hated so much an thereby a men?" asked jen

"yes dear the creevey brother's were men, an all men." said harry.

"well that seems to be something you left out of your story when you told it to us the earlier." replied jen.

"it's no big deal i just figured you, the boys and anna would not really care to hear about denis and colin and i in the shower after hours. or about dora here and i on the kitchen table. also denis, colin and i were more of a business deal then anything. the creevey brother's were pestering me about wanting my picture so i figured i would come up with a deal they would never agree too, to my shock they were more then happy to agree to pay 5 gallions plus a blow job for a picture of me plus 5 more gallions and anal sex to get the picture signed, i ender up making about 4,000 gallions a year from those horney little buggers. had sex with each of them about 200 times a year every weekday during the time we were suppoded to be at lunch. an it was a contract enforceed by magic it's self since i made the terms and they agreed, so a long as i got payed we had sex an they got a picture an they almost always wanted it signed too. so i got two blow jobs and got to screw them each in the ass and get payed 10 gallions each. heck some times they would catch me on the weekend an even pay me just to watch them have sex with each other. " said harry with a straight face as if this was something he talked about all the time.

a.n. the creevey brother were twins and in harry's first year with him in this story.

"do i even want to know how many people you have been with?" asked jen

"that's simple 4. you, dora and colin and denis." said harry."you 2 are the only ones who ever saw past the fame and money to the real me. at least wise out of the ones i would want to have sex with. an i think i picked the best of the 4 to marry"

"nice save there mr. eyes as green as pickled toads" said dora

"hay ginny never wrote that, it was the twins an they just signed her name." stated harry" an as far as us having more kids goes, as i recall you said we were never having any more while giving birth to the 2 we have now. an then i got no sex for the next year or as i call it the year of hell."

"so does that mean you would want more kids?" asked a hopefull jen.

"honey if more kids is what you want, then it is what i want. so yes i want more kids." said harry.

"an harry i like what you told the boys during 'the talk'." said jen

"all i did was tell them the truth. an if you want i can show you what i told them about male to female?" replied harry.

an with that it was decided to have more harry sent the boys off with aunt dora so he an jen could practice making a the boys could find out just how easy or hard pulling pranks would be at thier new school.

now i only made harry own the ministry so he could create the magical council instead of just a human minister of magic there is now one of each race centures, goblins, house elves, dwarves, werewolves, veela, and human also the wizumgot now all have equile members as well so if there are 50 humans there are 50 dwarves and so on.

this is the end of the story for me if you want to pick it up an fix it up be my guest. an yes i know harry should have cured remus years ago of being a werewolf but i needed him away so that the girls could end up having there girl talk that harry walked in on, and i liked the joke about remus may be a female with his once a month problem. of course that once a month problem could always be rewriten to be his love of muggle sports and once a month he takes the kids to a sporting event.

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	4. Chapter 4

this chapter is only devoted to a few flashbacks during harry's 5th year christmas. 

christmas at number 12.

harry and sirius just came back from gringotts and harry was not in a very good mood as a result he had to get a new accounts manager after he found out that sirius was his legal guardain all this time. it never had acured to him that since sirius was able to sign his forms to go to hogsmeade that he was in fact harry's legal gaurdain but sirius had the idea of harry becoming his adopted son an thereby having control of the black title and money to use to get him free so they payed a visit to the bank.

earlier that day in halfpaws office at the bank.

" now mr. potter how can i be helping you? " asked halfpaw

" first i would like to see the potter family accounts records since my parents death. " stated harry

" i am sorry sir but only the gaurdains of your account can requist to see those paper. so is there anything else i can do for you today? " asked halfpaw.

" an who is listed as my gaurdains then? " asked harry

" that would be one mrs. patunia dursley and your magical gaurdain is one mr. albus dumbledore. " stated halfpaw.

" an what about sirius black i thought he would be listed too since he is my godfather? " asked harry.

" oh no sir mr. black was removed when he went to prison. " stated halfpaw.

" so you are saying he could not sign any legal documents for me? " asked harry

" that is correct sir. " said halfpaw rather smugly looking down at the dog next to harry.

would my permition slips to go to hogsmeade signed by mr. dumbledore then be considered legal documents" " asked harry

" of course sir they are magical documents that only the true gaurdain can sign since many children try to forge the parents name. " stated halfpaw having no clue were this was going.

" thank you for clearing that up then. dobby " yelled harry

" yes harry potter sir how can dobby be helping you today? " asked a very hyper house elf

" i need 2 things dobby. first i need you to go to hogwarts an get my copies of my permision slips to go to hogsmeade for 4th and 5th years and i need you to get me a goblin by the name of griphook. " said harry

" yes sir harry potter sir. dobby will be right back. " an with that dobby popped away.

halfpaw looked at harry confused at his request why would he need the paperwork? an why would he want anything to do will a goblin who drove the mine carts?

of course halfpaw did not have much time to think on this since dobby was back in less than a minute.

" here he is mister harry potter sir the goblin you asked for. " stated dobby

" let me go you little creature i have important business to attend to! " stated griphook

" please forgive dobby griphook i asked him to bring you here. do you have the papers i asked for dobby?

" of course harry potter sir. dobby has them right here. " dobby then reached into the tea towel he wore as a loyne cloth a started rooting around. first he pulled out a live chicken, then a frying pan, a half eaten ham sandwhich, next came a tea service, then a dinner service for 8, it even looked as thou dobby had a complete liveing room and dining room set shrunken of course. then dobby found what he was after.

" here is you papers harry potter sir. " stated dobby.

harry of course had enough brains not to even ask where all that came from or what else may be down there.

" thank you dobby. here you go halfpaw. oh i must have made a mistake these are the papers for me to go to hogsmeade signed by sirius black. oh well then that must mean he is my gaurdain an no dumbledore. " stated harry

halfpaw did not like were this was going. an knew he had to act fast to stop it. so he putted a dagger from his belt an jumped over the desk intent on killing the last potter and his godfather thereby putting both accounts in the hands of one mr. albus dumbledore.

luckily for harry thanks to years of harry hunting and quiddich he had fast refleckes an was able to grab the goblin mid jump an use his own momentum to throw him into the wall causing him to drop the knife were harry was able to kick it over to were sirius was still sitting as a dog.

" griphook i want this goblin charged with theft of potter money. " stated harry

" mr. potter i think he will have worse things to worry about then theft. attempting to murder a customer is not a good thing. i mean killing a customer is not unheard of here, we have at least one heir a year who makes thier way to the job of head of a family by having the current head killed off. but to attempt to do so and fail is a very big discrace to the whole goblin nation. all of his holdings will now have to be turned over to you and his head mounted in the town squire. also mr. potter you will need a new accounts manager. "  
stated a rather pissed off griphook. i mean to try and kill a wizard and fail there was no greater dishonor.

" well griphook would you like the job? seeing as it would most likely be within goblin law for you to have aided him in my murder and you did not do so. " said harry

" you are right mr. potter it would have been within the law for me to have aided him but that would require a prewritten contract between he and i stating what i got for my aid. so yes i will take the job offer. "

" mr. harry potter sir, dobby is so sorry he was here an did not help you. dobby is a bad house elf and must punish himself " said dobby as he picked up the dagger that was still on the floor.

" DOBBY STOP. YOU WILL NOT PUNISH YOURSELF. you keep saying i am your master which means i am the one to say if you get punished and how. " stated harry. " now hand over the dagger. "

harry then took the dagger and tried to hand it to griphook but griphook only shook his head no.

" that is now your dagger an should be worn with pride. " said griphook while removing the sheath from halfpaw's belt and handing it to harry. griphook then touched a globe on the desk an within seconds gaurds swormed the room. to drag halfpaw away while half bowing to harry.

" you should feel honored mr. potter rarely do goblins bow to any creature, even the half bow you got was the first i have heard of in over 100 years. now since i am your new accounts manager how can i help you today? " asked griphook.

" well it looks like i am going to need more help today then i thought when i first came in. " said harry

2 hours later not only was harry head of the potter and black families but also head of the thought to be dead house of evens. which made him head of gryphondor family threw the potter family, head of the ravenclaw family threw the even and head of the slytherin family threw tom when he tried to kill him as a baby.

upon getting back to number 12 harry and sirius found out that they were just in time for an order meeting an headed to the kitchen. were in walked albus dumbledore in all his so-called glory.

" now mr. potter you do know that since you are not a member of the order you will have to leave please. " stated dumbledore in his most grandfatherly way as he took his seat.

" wrong MR. dumbledore i will be going no were. " said harry as thou he was not backtalking the so-called greatest wizard of the last 100 years. of course albus did not miss the MR. part of the statement even thou some of the other undoutedly did.

" now harry you know only order members are alled to be at the meets. so why not go see what your friends are up to so we can get on with this meeting. " dumbledore said nicely even thou you could no longer see the twinkle in his i because he was thinking. ' get out already you useless brat before i show you why tom fears me. '

of course dobby did pick up on dumbleydoores bad feeling toward his master the great harry potter sir an made it so dumbleydoores could not move from the neck down. dobby was not going to let anyone else try to hurt his master again today.

" my name is LORD potter as you well know MR. dumbledore. an i will not be told what to do in MY own house. yes i said MINE as in i own it, did i forget to mention i am lord black as well. " said harry.

" oh just what we need, more of a reason for potter to have a swelled head. " of course before snape could say anything else he was falling flat on his face thanks to a body bind from dobby.

" now harry i do think we need to talk, in private. " said dumbledore while trying to think of a way to prevent the potter brat from spilling everything.

" oh we will talk mr. dumbledore right here in front of all your friends. i mean you don't have any secrets you want to keep from your friends now do you. an as far as your friend snape here goes he is hereby fired by order of lord potter head of the gryphondor family. " said harry.

" now mr. potter you should know i could easily get the head of the hufflepuff family to just counter that order an thereby cause a tie which would be decided by the headmaster namely me. " an with this statment he felt he had won even if he had to sit and keep his control do to that stupid house elf that would decorate his wall as soon as this was over.

" oh so sorry SIR did i forget to mention i am also head of the ravenclaw family threw my mother. " replied harry

with that statement albus almost broke the hold dobby had on him he was so pissed. he had to think fast.

" in that case i would just have to have PROFESSOR snape get a proxy from tom to cause a tie again. "  
now dumbledore knew he had won since tom wanted snape at the school to spy on him and the order. dumbledore had forgotten that david evens former minister of magic was the true lord ravenclaw but was believed he died without having a child, because if you were an heir to the founders you would of course go to hogwarts an since no evens had been there in the last 100 years other than lily an it was thought she was a muggleborn no one even guessed she may be heir to ravenclaw. so much for that lovegood brat an all her make believe creatures.

" ah looks like today is just not your day mr. dumbledore. you see when tom tried to kill me he passed on more then just the fact i can talk to snakes but also the fact he WAS lord slytherin but when he lost his body the title passed to me. so the vote is 3 to 1 my favor. " proclaimed harry

lucky for harry winky showed up after dumbledore almost got free otherwise harry would be only a memory right now. it took both the house elves to stop him from trying to kill harry.

" now as lord potter, lord evens, and lord slytherin i hereby order that severus snape is to not set foot on hogwarts grounds or in it's castle ever again, and if he does so he will surrended his magical core and it's magic it's self to hogwarts to be used by her to defend against any and all dark wizards. " proclaimed harry

now everyone who had sat glob smacked so far could not believe this latest turn of events, no one in all recorded history had ever had thier core taken. i mean of course there were some pureblood families that threatened to do it but in the end you just got disowned an disinherated which for a pureblood was almost as bad.

" now mr. potter you can not do that since you are not head of the snape family. " now dumbledore wanted to see how this boy was going to get around that.

" in that you are right, thank the gods and goddesses. " said harry an dumbledore got a smug look.

" BUT since hogwarts DOES predate the ministry, an i DO hold 3 of her 4 seat that makes me lord of hogwarts. which means i DO have TOTAL say over the castle and her grounds. an not the ministry or the i.c.w. can overrule that. that is why almost every building that predates the ministry has been torn down and rebuilt at the ministries exspence. so as i said i lord potter, lord evens and lord slytherin hereby state that if severus snape ever enters hogwarts castle or her grounds he will surrender his magical core and the magic it does to hogwarts castle for her defence against any and all dark wizards. " stated harry with a bright flash sealing the oath.

now dumbledore knew he had lost this battle but he WOULD win the war. all he had to do now was try to get out of this without too many secrets getting out.

" well then lord slythherin since you seem willing to remove wizards cores could i request you do the same with tom riddle of your family? " dumbledore now felt proud of himself if he could get this brat to do away with tom's magic from his mother side of the family an since his father was a muggle the war could be over before it even really got started because tom had no magic from his fathers side of the family to fall back on and use. then dumbledore could take his time putting together a nice little accident for our new lord. i mean everyone knows how dangerous quiddich is.

" pending we can come to an agreement on price i don't see why not. " of course harry was just waiting to get to this part of the deal.

" anything my lord, you just have to name your price and it is your. " said albus as repectfully as he could under the current situation. everyone watching was stunned this could mean an end to the dark lord once and for all. an all it would take was a few simple words.

" fine mr. dumbledore as of the moment of your death you will surrender your magical core and the magic it thereby does to hogwarts castle to defend against any and all dark wizards. " said harry.

" of course my lord as you wish i albus dumbledore hereby agree to surrender my magical core and it's magic to hogwarts castle upon my death so that it can be used to defend against any and all dark wizards. " an with that everyone saw i flash of magic that sealed the oath. ' of course little does the stupid brat know i have the stone i told him i distroyed in his first year. that should give me several hundred years to figure out how to out smart this stupid oath.'

" looks like it is my turn then i lord slytherin hereby order that tom riddle also known as lord voldimorte member of the house of slytherin and all his vasels also known as deatheaters who willingly serve him or ever have willingly served him in the past be they alive or dead surrender thier magical cores and the magic those cores can do to hogwarts castle, to be used to defend against any and all dark wizards. along with all there worldly goods, the cores will be surrendered on the date of december 25th 2006. " an with that a bright light surounded harry.

" BUT THAT'S 10 YEARS FROM NOW YOU STUPID BRAT! ' bellowed dumbledore.

" i know that, but you created lord voldemorte to so that you could be thought of as the greatest wizard to ever walk the earth. i am just giving you a chance to fofill your lifes dream. of course you should know know the goblin council does have all your friend halfpaws records and his head so unless you want them made public i would consider seeing to it that mr. black here does get a fare trail before the end of winter break. seeing as you do have 6 witnesses to the fact that peter is still alive and that he did confess to not only being my parents secret keeper but also to blowing up the street full of muggles to frame sirius. " said harry " also as lord black and owner of this house i hereby bind you all to not be able to talk about what was said here with anyone ever an if you try it will cost you your life. so snape your good buddies are screwed since you can not tell them. " an as harry finished there was a flash of light sealing the order.

now dumbledore was really worried 'how could that fool goblin let himself get found out. i mean the fool should have at least tried to blame everything on me that way he could stay in place an we could rob the potters blind for years to come. i mean it would hurt my name but how much could they have really proved, what a little theft. i could have said it was there wish to help fight for the light side. an i could have used the fact all the blacks have been dark wizards. but if they have all my records it looks like albus dumbledore will soon be dead an hello aborforth dumbledore. luckily i am not as anti-muggle as everyone else and have accounts elsewere in the world. ' " of course my lord i live to serve. his trail will be as soon as i can manage it. " said albus

" what is this about records albus have you been stealing from this boys account! " yelled molly who seemed to be the first to find her voice

" of course not molly. it's just the dumbledore family have used up most of thier money fighting the last 2 wizarding wars, so i needed to put up what little we had left an got a loan from the potter family that is payable on demand. so that if lord potter wishes he could make me homeless without a knute to my name. " albus just had to hope harry would allow him to keep some of his respect an back him up on this. of course albus did not see why he would not he did seem to be holding all the cards. an he could have outright told everyone instead of just hinting at it. of course albus still had harry at hogwarts for 2 1/2 years plenty of time to fix things even if that ment using a somewhat dark potion or 2.

" is this true harry " asked tonks

" it is. an by the way tonk i lord black am honored to welcome you, your mother and your father into the house of black. i also disown and disinherit bellatrix black lestrange, narcissa black malfoy and draco malfoy " an with that harry let off one more flash before walking out of the room followed by sirius.

as soon as harry and sirius made it to sirius's room he had to ask. " harry why did you save that old fools life back there? you could have set the whole order against him? "

" one thing at a time. first we get you cleared. then i give you a lifetime job as defence teacher, so that you can keep an eye on the old fool. because right now he is trying to decide which dark potion to have snape make to force me to drop everything against him. that is why we have to get you cleared before the holiday ends, since i am not giving that old fool a chance to poison me by going back to hogwarts like nothing is wrong. " said harry.

" you're not going back, but what about your schooling? " asked sirius

" i can do self study and sit my o. w. l.'s at the ministry like any home schooled student. or if i want i can show up at hogwarts to take the tests. i am pritty sure i can talk the heirs to the founders into signing off on it. " proclaimed harry.

3 days later sirius black found himself walking out of the ministry a free man with 120,000 gallions for his time locked up.

an 3 days after that found sirius black sitting at the staff table laughing his bum off after telling umbridge to take her ministry dacrees an her toad like self and get the hell out by order of lord gryphondor, lord ravenclaw, and the most unlikely of all lord slytherin.

an of course when our dear minister found this out he sent his 12 personal aurors to take control of the castle. of course 5 of those aurors were also unmarked deatheaters they all returned 1 hour later as muggles. to say the minister was unhappy would be an understatement.

the minister then tried to get the dailly prophit to slander the schools name an thereby get it closed due to lack of students but all that did was get harry to sue the paper as lord potter and lord slytherin which he ended up winning and owning the paper it's self. which really ticked off the minister since now they only ran totally true honest stories, not just what he wanted them to say.  
at the headmasters office right after the feast.

" so my young lord has decided not to return to school has he well we will see if he is as smart as he thinks he is. " states albus.

" i albus dumbledore headmaster of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry hereby exspell harry james potter for failure to return to complete his 5th year of schooling and hereby order his wand snapped and all right and privalages as a wizard removed. " an then albus dumbledore shaw a flash.

" now you brat you are nothing your not a lord or even a wizard. " stated dumbledore

" albus dumbledore i lord potter hereby revoke all rights and privilages you now hold as headmaster of hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. you will keep the post as headmaster in name only. further more harry potter is granted the right to independant study off campus and granted permision to take his o.w.l.s at the ministry of magic at the time of his choosing. also any further atemptes to harm and staff or student directly or indirectly by you will result in your instant loss of your magical core and the magic it there produces to hogwarts castle, anything to do with the job of headmaster of hogwart will from this date forward be cleared with sirius black our proxy an if anything be it your fault or not happens to mr. black or any other member of the black family which does include mr. remus lupin the above listed punishment will be inacted. we lord slytherin, lord evens and lord potter all agree to the above ruling as of this date december the 31, 1996. " after this was said albus felt hogwarts grab his magic and rap around it just waiting for him to screw up in the slightest.

albus now knew with hogwart linked to his magic like it is now he was totally screwed. there was no way he could sneak off an order anyone to do anything without the castle knowing. which also ment he could not use staff members in the order since they may end up in battle so since the castle decided if a rule was broken there was no one to even try to sweet talk into seeing things his way, an it is rather hard to try and blackmail, bride or bully a castle.

[an yes i know i wrote harry as only head of 2 families in the other chapter, but my dumbledore would not have taken the way harry treated him lieing down, he would have done whatever he had to so that he could prove he is the boss an harry is just some upstart punk who needs put in his place. my albus would not have thought twice about killing off the parents of the other 2 heirs so he could force a tie with harry so that he the headmaster could break it. also he would not have thought twice about using every controling potion and spell he could get his hands on, for the greater good of course. so we can just write it up that minny thinks loona lovegoods daughter is the ravenclaw heir an that she thinks she still has a chance of getting her school back. an as to why she was not at the order meeting to hear this well someone has to keep an eye on the school who knows about the order an how to get in touch with them should anything happen.an you don't think albus is going to want to relive that by having to tell her do you. so just think of it as one more prank on minny by the twins, that an i needed harry as head of 3 families to get rid of snape. an as far as the goblin telling harry albus was now aborforth harry already knew that because he had dumbledore investigated years ago an was just waiting to decide to use everything against him. so the goblin was not telling harry anything he did not already know he was just reading it from the report.


	5. Chapter 5

december was cold in salem but stone and kyle were having a great time. thanks to thier father and his way of doing magic they had already learned all 7 years of the core classes of transfiguation, charms, potion and defence. potions being the hardest since there were not any tricks to it but as long as you can read, count and tell time potions was not that hard. an the boys could not get over the fact that in just 6 months they would have a new little brother. also the boys are still taking all the classes with thier normal year mates to make friends plus the fact that there are very few job out in the world for 11 year old boys that are legal. it also gives them a great amount of time to plan pranks against the teachers.

of course the fact that the potter's seemed to delight in breaking every rule of magic ever written did not help the poor teachers to not get pranked. it seemed no matter how many detection and protection spells they used on thier doors and windows of the classroom or thier own private rooms they always seemed to still get pranked. some of the teachers had gone so far as to start banning house elves from thier private rooms thinking they may be helping the students, which of course some of them were since they did belong to the potter family. luck did seem to be on the boys side since the teachers had yet to start warding the walls, floors and ceiling. an those were the main ways the boys were getting in since they could make a door or window any place they wanted by more or less just wishing it to be there and putting enough magic behind it.

now the teachers were not having anywhere near as much fun as the troublesome potter twins. since they had yet to prove they had done any of the many pranks that had been pulled since the start of the year. the only bright side seemed that the rest of the school was deciding to help the twins and many of them had been found out and pranked back as was the rule. of course the headmistress did catch the twin's in her office once just getting ready to leave after spiking her tea pot to sing and dance when ever she tried to use it, and the spell was password protected so she could not stop it until the spell wore off. as a result the twin's spent the next week quacking like ducks whenever they tried to talk. so you know everyone tried to get them to talk all the time. an you know the teachers just had to pick them to answer every question in class.

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of course during the early part of december harry was a very busy man, he had a new job. it seems nicholas flumel had decided after nearly 600 years to step down from his self appointed job as father christmas to the world. an harry was trying to figure out how even with everything he had been left he would tell his family he would be gone for a night to them that in trueth would be more like several monthes to him thanks to the time slowing time turned nick used to get around the world in one night.

" honey i think i need to talk to you and the kids." stated harry.

" of course honey, what about?" asked jen.

"it's about christmas." stated harry.

" well since you already got me a new son on the way i think i already get my present." said jen.

" no sweetheart this is about santa clause or father christmas depending on were you live." replied harry.

" dad not tell me you still believe in santa?" asked stone

" yes son i do still believe in santa since i know the man personally." said harry.

" you know sants clause personally? oookkk i will take your word on that dad." said kyle as if his father was a very small very dimwitted child.

" i think our kids are old enough to know the presents under the tree from santa were from us dear." said jen.

" that's the thing thou dear, they were not all from us." said harry.

" dear are you trying to tell me there really is a santa clause? if so i want to know why we keep going out and buying all those presents for the kids then, instead of just sitting back and letting santa do it?" stated jen.

" that is simple dear. santa does not like greedy people, thereby greedy people do not get presents." said harry.

" but how come i do not get everything on my lists to santa then? i am good and not greedy?" asked stone.

" well son santa only gives 2 or 3 gifts per person. so if you sent him a list of 37 things an your parents buy 22 of the things on that list, then you will only end up with 24 or 25 presents. any more then 2 or 3 coming from santa would be greedy." said harry.

" also son you have to remember there are laws about non-magical people finding out about magic. so if 15 gifts ended up under the tree an no one knows were they came from people might start to ask the questions we do not want them too." said harry. " 2 or 3 presents can be written off as uncle joe or cousin frank must have found the present an put it there so that even we the parents might think there just might be a real santa. any more then that would cause problems." stated harry.

" so you are saying there really is a santa clause?" asked jen still not totally rapping her mind around the idea.

" yes virgina there is a santa clause." stated harry trying to keep a straight face after making the reference to the cartoon the kids watched once that had the line in it.

" an i was wondering if you and the boys wanted to go an check out the place since i need to go there for a few days on business?" asked harry still trying to figure out just how to go about telling everyone that HE, was now santa clause.

" so we really get to go to the north pole an see the real santa clause elves and all!?" asked stone still not sure about all this since most non-magical kids his age had started thinking there was no real santa.

" well, it's more like northern england not the north pole but other then that yes." replied harry.

" so when do we leave dad?" asked stone figuring worst case we get taken to a santa's village with short people dressed as elves like at the mall. in which case he can try using sticking charms on thier ears so that the fake ear do not come off. an that would be just the right place to try doing something wandlessly in public and not get busted. he and his brother had done wandless magic already but with his father there to stop him instead of help it would be a lot different.

right then dobby decided to pop in holding a glowing green ball and the longest piece of parchment any of them had even seen along with a pen.

" harry sir dobby is bringing you your seerers ball and a pen an lots of parchment sir." said dobby looking as if he had just done the greatest job in the world for his master harry sir.

" dobby why did you bring this here?" asked harry hoping not to get the answer he was fearing at that very moment.

" well, master harry sir. muggle childrens book clearly says 'he's making a list and checking it twice to find out who's naughty and nice.' so dobby is helping you to make sure you's follow the rules and makes your list and checks it twice." stated dobby proudly.

" thank you dobby. that it most thoughtful of you. now could you take that stuff over to nick's so when i get there in about an hour i will have it please." said harry while looking for something very hard to beat dobby over the head with even thou he knew he would never really beat dobby. the idea at the moment at least sounded good.

" yes sir dobby will be doing that right away." an just before he left he turned to the boys an tried to whisper to them without the adults seeing which of course did not work very well with everyone standing so close." headmistress she's is having green and red flashing hair. which be spelled to not goes away for 2 week. just as you'ses asked me's to do." and with that the little elf popped away.

poor jen had no clue what to do,did i just hear she kept looking back and forth from her husband to the boys not sure what to do about what just happened. so she took the easier one to deal with first namely the prank.

"did i just hear right, that you two had dobby help you pull a prank on the headmistress?" stated jen in a voice that clearly said she was not pleased in the least.

" well,.. uh yah... but mum before you get mad the headmistress knows the house elves help students pull off pranks. i mean how else would someone be able to slip a prank into the teachers food if the headmistress was to tell the house elves to check all the food before sending it to the hall. which proves she knows that the house elves are in on it, because she allows the food with the pranks to be sent up. so that then it is the teachers fault if they forget to check thier food." said stone hoping to deflect some of the blame for the prank to the headmistress herself.

" well i will be speaking to her about this to find out if she really does know just how involved the house elves are in these pranks. until then no more pranks, am i understood." stated jen in her mother voice that said to anyone who has ever gotten thier mother pissed off. ' i better be understood, or else i may have 2 less sons soon.'

" yes mum. no more pranks." said kyle and stone at the same time while trying to look anywhere but at thier mother.

" now as for you mister." jen said looking harry now. which let harry know he would be better off any place but were he was now, but since he did not want to sleep on the coach the rest of his married life he stayed.

" do you want to tell me why dobby just brough you a glowing green ball an enough parchment to ring this whole building. not to mention add i quote 'he's making a list and checking it twice to find out who is naughty and nice.' last time i looked that was, an i can not believe i am saying this, but that was santa's job. so not only is santa real an you know him an never bothered to mention this little fact that a total stranger was in MY HOUSE were MY CHILDREN sleep at least once a year but if i believe dobby that person would be you."

at that moment harry knew he was dead. he did not know how his wife would kill him, but he knew he was nothing more then a walking corpes. since she had said the words every man never wants to hear namely HER house and HER children. so all he could do was try to talk his way into a fast and painless death.

"well.. you see honey.." started harry

" don't even honey me. first i don't find out your a wizard till MY sons are about start a wizarding school, now i find out a story book person is real an that you are said person. you have about ten seconds to start talking or wizard or not you will be the late mr. nighthawk or potter or santa or whichever fuckin name your going by this week. an the words honey, sweetheart, darling, or anything even close better not come out of your mouth." stated a very pissed off wife.

yep it was confirmed the wife was had one to many shocks, an harry was going to die.

" uuhh... it's like this... all wizards know santa is real. it is just a fact we take for granted. just like the sky is blue, the grass is green and santa is a wizard. an no i had no idea nick would decide to retire an want me of all people to take over since he has been doing the job of santa for almost 600 years. an no i had no idea, until the other day that i even knew who was doing the job. as far as wizards know it is the kringal family just keeping going what chris kringal a wizard started so many years ago. an about me not telling you i was a wizard we have already been threw that. most wizards or witches who marry a non-magical person have cases of accidental magic such as floating teddy bears or floating baby bottles to kind of use as a jumping off point to get the talk started, but our children never did any of that as far as i know. so since i put my wand away almost 20 years ago and our children showed no outside signs of magic, until thier 11th birthday came around i thought nothing about the magical world. i had the perfect wife an 2 great children an it did not matter to me if i ever picked up a wand again or if my children were magical because no amount of magic could replace the 3 of you in my heart." stated harry.

" so you really are the new sants clause?" asked a stunned jen

" it looks that way. unless i can find someone else to take the job." said harry.

" don't you dare. if i remember right mrs. clause delivers the gifts in russia. an i think i could get used to having my own private santa." said jen.

" so do you want to tell me how the fat jolly santa makes it down the chimeny? " asked a playfull jen who seemed to decide to let her husband live at least one more day.

" sure little girl santa will tell you, it is magic." said harry as he turned an ran for his life before his wife could decide how best to kill him.

" oh an boys get packed. we leave in 30 minutes." stated harry as he was running toward his own bedroom to both pack and hide from his wife. an the boys did not need to be told twice since they were up an out the door before harry even made it to his own room.

20 minutes later both stone and klye were already packed and back to thier parents rooms waiting for them.

" so dad how are we getting to santa's workshop?" asked stone.

" well son i think our ride is waiting for us on the roof." said harry with a straight face.

" you mean we are going there in santa's slay? as in a miniachure slay and 8 tiny reindeer? that kind of slay? " asked kyle.

" well the slay and reindeer are not really that small but other then that yes." stated harry. an with that harry grabbed hold of the other 3 very stunned people an aperated them to the roof of the building were just as promissed was a slay with 8 reindeer to pull it.

" so.. so... so how does it fly? " asked a rather shocked jen.

" featherwieght charm and a locamotion spell." said harry as if everyone should know how the slay flew.

" so all you do is tell them to go by thinking about it and they do? you mean, no, on dasher and dancer?" asked kyle looking as if someone had just told him christmas was canceled do to lack of interest.

" no none of that is needed, just thought about were you are going. but, as long as no one rats me out so i end up going to court, i just might be able to pull that off." stated harry to a now very happy group of people.

" so what are we waiting for, christmas? lets go everyone." stated stone

" well, if we ARE waiting for christmas i think your father will be late for his first night on his new job." said jen." an since we can not have that we best get moving."

so with that 4 very happy people got into a slay.

" so what is this back here dad? it looks like a pup tent." said stone. while looking into the second of the 2 rows of seats. since everyone was all in the front seat so they did not miss anything important.

" that son is a wizarding tent. it is larger on the inside then the outside. it for the most part has everything someone would need to live in it for as long as they needed." repied harry.

" but why would santa need a carry along house with him unless it is on someone christmas list?" asked kyle while turning around to get a better look.

" it's simple son. i can slow down time to do my job so that a second becomes an hour, which means i in trueth i end up spending several monthes going from house, to house, to house, all in one night. so it only makes sence i have a place to stay during all that time." said harry.

" so you mean you will be away from us for several monthes?" asked jen likeing this idea of harry being santa less and less now since they had never been apart since thier wedding.

" unless you and the kids come along, then yes. but to you it would only be for one night." said harry. " an before you say ' that in that case we are coming along' think about that honey. you are going to have a baby, do you really want to have a baby in santa's slay? an before you get worried about time travel on the baby, it will be just fine since nick's wife did go with him and had 3 of her 14 children in this very slay. that may just raise a few question when we get back to school is all. such as how you went from 4 monthes along to birth in 2 weeks?" said harry.

" well if nick's wife can do it then so can i, we are going with you." stated jen in a voice that said ' you will not argue this point with me, is that uderstood.

" of course you and the kids can come along dear. i would not have it any other way." said harry knowing to say otherwise would be death to his sex life if not even to his very life.

" good so lets check you this tent we will be living in for several months." replied jen as she headed into the tent, to only stop dead after only 2 steps inside. she could not believe what she was looking at. it really was a full sized house stuck into this tiny tent. it had a large living room a dineing room that looked big enough to seat 20 people easy an what looked to be a kitchen large enough for a dozen people to cook at the same time. plus a long hallway full of doors that most likely went to bedrooms.

" ah... honey... is this the wizarding idea of ruffing it? this place tooks bigger then our house back home?" asked a very shaken jen.

" well sweety for the most part wizards are rather lazy, so yes this IS ruffing it wizard style. i mean there are no house elves or quiddich pitch or floo connection so that would be ruffing it to a lot of wizards." stated harry trying not to bust out laughing at his wife an thereby earn him time sleeping on the couch. " plus i did mention nick and his wife did have 14 children so they would need a lot of space." now so you know these 14 children were born before the sorcerer's stone was created because the drawback to the stone is no more children. an that is why half the wizarding world is not named flumel because you figure over 600 years you could have a lot of kids.

after jen got over her shock she harry and the boys decided to check out the tent. the rooms turned out to be just as huge as she had though they were and the doors in the hallways did lead to bedrooms 20 bedrooms in fact plus an office, library and large play room. jen thought she would have no problem staying here for several months with harry and the kids.

" now you know you all we do need to get a move on, since i did tell dobby we would be nick's place in 1 hour." stated harry as he tried to pull everyone away from were they where at to get the trip underway.

" so what do we have to do dad?" asked stone.

" first i need to turn on the cloak so we do not end up being seen be the air force, since i do not feel like being shot down." said harry as he pushed a button with a C on it. " next we turn on the weightless chams and the locamotion charms." harry then tapped buttons with W and L on them. " an as to why there are 2 different buttons, well santa might want to go out in public and float the slay in one spot so he can sit and wave to all his fans but more likely would be so the slay floats in one spot while he makes a stop some place without anywhere to land like a house boat." said harry the question he knew was about to be asked since he had asked nick about it himself.

" now for your favorite part. on dasher and dancer and prancer and vickson, on comit on cupid on doner and blitzen, to the top of the roof, to the top of the wall, dash away dash away dash away all." an harry was not even sure he even got everything right but the family did not seem to care as the slay lifted off to take everyone to nick's place.

" harry are you sure this is safe for the kids? we do seem to be going rather fast." asked a worried jen as she looked out over the landscape speeding by her.

" of course it is safe dear, there are charms to prevent anyone from falling out while the slay is moving. you could not even jump out even if you wanted to do so while we are moving." said a very calm harry. an he did know that for a fact since when nick took him up the first time, nick tried to shove him out of the slay to prove it was safe. of course harry was not going to tell his wife that little fact.

about 15 minutes after take off the slay started to slow down until it had almost stopped. in front of them was the cutest little cabin you could ever dream up. as a matter of fact it had been dreamed up by nick's first daughter when she was only 6 years old. as a result the house looked as thou it had come right out of a child's picture book. you know the saying it looks so good you can almost taste it, well in this case you could taste it since the outside of the house was covered in magical candies of every shape, size, color and favor. which is were nick got the idea to create every flavored beans from long before this idea was thought up by berri bott's.as they handed they were met by nick and his wife.

" ooohhh look dear .. santa and his wife have come to visit. i wonder what they brought us. well it looks like they brought us 2 healthy young boys, i think they would make the perfect stuffing for a little boy pie. it has been so long since i made little boy pie, i hope i still remember how." said the woman looking at the boys as if they were the most tastey thing she had ever seen.

" now sweetheart don't forget to put the cherries in this time. you know how much i like cherry flavored little boy pies." stated the man looking at his wife.

" i always put cherries in the little boy pies you old fool, it is the little girl pies that have the apples. an you call yourself an alchemist, an can't even cook breakfast without burning it." stated the woman.

" well what are you to doing just sitting there. i do believe you have pies to help the lady make seeing as you 2 are the main parts of those pies. so get down an start helping already." stated harry in a voice that had everyone not to shore if he was joking or not.

" so harry how was the flight over here. any problems?" asked the man.

" nope, smooth as silk nick. just like when you took me up to learn to handle it." repied harry.

of course by this time the other 3 people in the slay were starting to look for the nearest way out that would get as far away from the other 3 as they could.

" sweetheart, boys. this is nick and his wife cassy. say hello already." said harry.

stone was the first to speak up " uuuhhh... you really don't plan on using us in pies do you? " not really shore he wanted the answer to his question or not.

" of course not dear. you are much to old to become little boy pie. way to much baby fat already lost. it is a shame thou 2 or 3 years ago you may have made for one of my best pies ever." said cassy.

" uuuhhh... honey... are you sure these people are safe to have our kids around they don't seem... quit sane?" whispered jen to harry.

" of course thier safe honey they are just pulling your leg, they would never eat the kids. you heard cassy the boys are too old to taste good." said harry.

" so lets get inside so you all can have a good look around." said nick as he and his wife turned and headed for the house. an with that harry jumped out of the slay to start to the house.

" mom are you sure this is really safe. didn't i read about a house like this in a story, an if i remember right that woman from the story tried throwing the kids into the oven." said kyle.

" oh get real, you think dad would bring us to a house just to be cooked into pies?" said stone so stone looking much braver then he really felt went to follow his father inside. an having no real other options the other 2 soon joined everyone else in the cute little house.

an as with the tent the inside of the house was much bigger then the outside. it even looked as if the tent was the model for the house or was it the tent was copied from the house. the only real difference seemed to be the office here was about a thousand times bigger then the tent and there were house elves everywhere you looked doing some job or other. some were reading letters most likely written to santa and making notes about them, other were filing letter away in a cabinet some were even using those glowing green balls on the letters that seemed not to have been read yet.

" so what is all this about?" asked jen looking at harry since she was still not sure about the other 2 adults.

"this is the mail room. if you wait a minute you will see house elves bringing copies of letters from children all over the world to put in the stack over there." answered harry an as if right on time a house elf did pop in with a large stack of letters. " the house elves with the glowing green balls are checking to see who is naughty and who is nice. nick here tried to creat a ball that could see into the future an kind of goofed it up an it can only see the recent past, so this is the only real use for it. the letters from the naughty kids get used to become transfigured presents for the good little boys and girls. the elves reading the letters are trying to figure out which gifts would be the best from the list for the child, they use a numbering system from 1 to however many presents are listed. an that boys is why you may not always get the favorite toy that you thought you could just not live without, because for whatever reason it ended up to far down on the list even thou you put it at the top in big letters. an the other elves are filing the letters away in a cabinet that is hooked to the list i carry on me that tells me who is next to get a gift and where they are at, along with the list of presents. an when i get to the house i use my own green ball to figure out which gifts they already have and i then mark those off the list and give the top 2 or 3 left on the list." stated harry

" so sir why were you trying to create a ball to see into the future in the first place? if you don't mind me asking." stated jen while looking at nick.

" simple my dear, to get a jump on next years lists of course. it always gets so busy at the end of each year, i figured if i could see the lists that would come in december in june then it would save a great deal of time later." responded nick.

" an it had nothing to do with wanting to see cathrine duglas with nothing on but a smile, right dear?" asked cissy while looking at her husband.

" NO IT DID NOT. an would you give that a rest already. so she and i were friends over 600 years ago, the poor woman has been dead for over 500 years now an you still go on about her.

"if you say so dear. now who would like something to eat or drink? " asked cissy.

" i have a question. " said stone " how can santa transfigure the naughty kids letters into a gift he has no idea about like a computer game? "

" ah.. very good question son. the green ball i have has a knowledge spell on it so that if it does not know everything needed about the gift it seeks it out in the past. then it sends the picture and everything else it needs to my mind, so all i have to do is add the magic to make it real. if it was not for nick's seers ball and his other work like making the first try at a time turner this job would be about a million times harder." said harry

" i will help you get the snacks while ALL the boys sit and talk santa." said jen as she and cissy headed to the kitchen.

when the women reached the kitchen jen asked 1 of the questions she thought harry may not know the answer to. " so cissy why is nick really retiring?" asked jen giving cissy a look the said she wanted the real story.

"well it is really simple in the end, harry is the first person nick has ever really trusted. ever since nick created that silly stone of his everyone has wanted it for some reason or other. harry is the first person to have a chance at getting what he thought was the real stone an wanted it just to keep it safe, not to use it to live forever or make tons of gold but just to protect it. after that happened nick used his seers gift to look into harry's past. yes nick can see the past any time he wants but not the future which is why he has trying to create the future seeing ball. as i said he looked into harry's past an for the first time in over 500 years nick wanted to kill someone, but i would not let him so he used the strongest conpultion charm he could that was not dark magic to change harry's family to love him. that is the reason that after harry's first year his so-called family treated him better. they did not love him because thier hate was to strong but his life did get better." said a very sad cissy as she thought back on what she had seen of harry's life before they helped him.

" so why did you all not just kidnap him and raise him here?" asked jen.

" if harry had been any other boy we would have but since dumblkedore was involved that old man would have never stopped hunting for harry. it's no wonder he did not try to hunt him down and slip him some dark controlling potion to get him to go back and fight tom riddle?" said cassy. " now i think the boys an i do mean ALL 4 boys are waiting for thier snacks. so let me show you my littleboy and little girl pies that nick likes so much. of course to be honest they are no more then ginger bread boys and girls with cherry or apple flavoring added."

" to be honest you all did have the boys and i a bit worried about that one." responded jen.

" of course we did that was the point, to see how you all handle yourselves. coming into a gingerbread house covered in candy an maybe going to end up baked into pies. of course that is what you get when you let a 6 year old little girl pick the look for the outside of the house. now don't tell the boys but everyone of those candies can be eaten and will magically replace it's self." stated cissy an with that the ladies got cookies and drinks for everyone. and this is what the girls walked in on when entering the office.

" nick but you can't give me the stone. i will not take it. you and cissy need it much more then we do!" stated an upset harry.

" of course you will take it harry. an yes i know you do not want to take it, that is why i am giving it to you. the stone creates 6 doses of elixur of life a year and since it is just me and cissy, that means we have enough for 1,200 more years. an if we decide to keep living after that then i will just create a new stone." countered nick. " anyway i happen to know that wife of your is a muggle, which means she is only likely to live to about 75 were you a wizard will live to at least 150. an i don't know about you but i could not live 75 years without that old nag of a wife always on my back about something. so you will take the stone." stated nick in a way that said the talk about this IS over, an i win so hahhh.

an the nighthawk family spent the next few days getting ready for what would turn out to be a 6 month long christmas holiday and job in one. nick even showed harry necklaces that were tied into the time turned on the slay so that he and the family could get out and have some fun on the beach during the trip. now i will not be telling you about the trip it's self since nothing much really happened on it other then ' at 6:05 a.m. local time mark anthony nighthawk was born over the state of texas in america and almost caused his father to end up missing drop offs for the whole state. since his mother was in labor for 36 hours an that put dad a little behind.' an yes i know that with them about to slow down time to 1 second normal time is 1 hour santa time 36 hours in labor would not put them to far behind but harry also spent several days or minutes depending on who you ask with the new member of the family plus the old ones just getting used to a new baby around. an since santa wanted to be out of america by 6:30 a.m. he had to rush a bit.

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A.N. so you know the whole harry becomes santa was just something that was running around my head. an is was just to see how it would turn out. the only way i could pull it off without the use of flumel would be a time turner and use legimancy on the kids. that of course still did not answer the question of everyone getting old really fast thou. if harry spends say 6 monthes a year giving out his gifts so that his year is 18 months long he would have to do it alone otherwise his wife would die of old age at 50. an i did not see harry leaving his family for 6 monthes at a time.


	6. Chapter 6

A.N. now since this story was supposed to be mainly a look back at how harry get were he is now we will try to get it back on track a bit with a flashback chapter.

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2 hours after harry left the order meeting in our last flashback.

granger (A.N. an i always call her granger since i can spell that, an no i could care less how to spell her first name. if i wanted to know i would look on most any other story an make a note about it to remind me.) plus fred, goerge, ron and ginny. come out of the room over the kitchen.( A.N. in my story no one thinks to ward the whole room including floors and ceiling only the doors. so the twins drilled a hole from the room above so they could hear the order meetings.)

" i can't believe harry would act the way he did in the meeting with headmaster dumbledore?" stated the local know it all granger. " i mean he is the headmaster after all, he is only looking out for everones safety. an did you hear he had the chance to get rid of voldemort and his deatheaters with a simple cammand an instead decides to let them keep running around for 10 more years. this is not the harry i know."

" yes we heard every word just as you did but there is nothing we can do about it. we are bound by the same order as everyone else to keep our mouthes shut about it. since i did see the magic flare up around us when the order was given that no one can talk about what they heard." said fred which was the most he ever talked without his twin jumping in.

" well there is one thing i can do an that is go ask harry what the heck he was thinking." said granger as her and everyone else headed off to find harry.

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at that same time in sirius room harry was just finishing sending off a letter to griphook at the bank, the letter read.

dear account manager griphook,

i have just finished looking over my holding as you said i should before deciding what to do with them. i lord potter, evens, black, wish for you to sell all black family properties as well as even's family properties that are not a business, an yes i know that will still leave me several not so well thought of busineses such as the brothals but they are good money makers plus the girls are there because they want to be from what i read. also i would like you to take 1 million gallions and open a muggle account in the name of harry nighthawk and place the money in it. from what i read that should be just over 600 million gallions.use that money use it to buy stock it muggle companies, it would seem from the report i read that they give a much better return on investment. i would also like for you to reinvest my profits from the stocks you buy for at least the next 15 years, since the million gallions will be more then enough to hold me over.

i would also like you to do a full investigation of the headmaster of hogwarts for me. since he is my employee i have the right to know everything you can dig up on him. i would be greatful if you could also get me muggle i.d. such as driver's permit and passport listing my as being of age. an as you may have guessed by now i will be leaving england to live with the muggles most likely very soon within the next 6 monthes or so. this of course thou will have no affect on the fact you are the account manager for me thou you will still be trusted to watch over my money for me. as far as you and the bank share of the profit which is 2 1/2 i want you to raise that to 5 so that you will get 3 instead of only a 1/2 . i also know that the other things i asked you for will cost me gold as well, i do nat take it as an insult that you want payed for everything you do. if i were you i would also. the only black home not to be sold will be 12 grimwald place. after i move sirius black will have say over what happens to that house.

signed lord potter, black, evens

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moments later in the hall outside of the very room sirius and harry were in.

" well the only place left to look up her is in the master bedroom." said ginny

knock, knock,

" come in. " stated harry since he did know who was at the door being lord of the house and all the magic told him.

" harry what is this about you being a triple lord an more importantly what were you thinking letting voldimort and his deatheaters keep thier magic. you could have ended this war before it even stated." nearly yelled granger at harry.

" MISS GRANGER last time i looked what i do or do not do is none of your business. as far as me being head of my family i will handle MY family as i see fit, an PUNISH them as i see fit. you should know MISS GRANGER that albus dumbledore CREATED tom riddle into being the dark wanker just so HE could refeat him. so i am only giving dumbledore what he wants, a chance to defeat the dark wanker. just because you want to know something is NOT good enough. what next you going to want to know 'if i wear boxers and what kind? not gonna get to know, but i will tell you ron over there wears alfred the amazing auror briefs." stated harry. at this ron looked as thou he wanted to be anyplace but in this room.

" but harry what about all the helpless people who will be hurt and killed before then just like your parents?" asked a rather annoyed granger who was trying to play on harry guilt.

OOOHHH WRONG MOVE.

"HELPLESS MY ASS GRANGER. EVERY WITCH AND WIZARD OUT THERE HAVE A WAND. WHICH AS YOU SHOULD KNOW ARE JUST AS DEADLY AS ANY GUN, EVEN WITH THE MOST SIMPLE SPELLS I OR ANYONE ELSE COULD KILL SOMEONE. THEY BEING THE PUBLIC ARE JUST TO USED TO PEOPLE LIKE DUMBLEDORE SAVING THIER WORTHLESS ASSES WHILE THEY HIDE UNDER THE BED AT HOME AN DO NOTHING." yelled a very pissed off harry.

" so does that mean your parents were worthless as well for hiding from voldimort?" asked granger

she just had to get harry to see SHE was right as always. then she could move on to getting him to do what SHE knew was right, even if harry himself did not know it was right at the time, she would make him see SHE was right all along sooner or later.

" oh, low blow GRANGER even for you, but yes they were worthless in the end. from what i have heard my father was a good dueler so what was my mother doing during the time he was giving her to get away? i do not think my father would be one to fall to the first curse sent his way, so what was she doing? she could have taken a portkey or apperate or even the floo but just for the sake of it lets say those were all blocked. she could have lowered me out the window they jumped out and run outside the wards then left with me. but instead she begged for me life with a man she knew would kill us both no matter what he said he would do." answered harry.

" but harry..." an that is as far as granger got.

" leave, before i say something i may regret but that is unlikely. all of you OUT." an with that the house helped it's master toss his guests into the hall and slammed the door.

with that granger picked herself up an stormed off to her room to get ready for a shower. since she always did her best thinking while in the shower playing with a few adult toys she copied from her parents bedstand. an if she was really feeling like she needed to be a bad girl she might even let ginny help her play sometime soon as long as she could learn her place that is. an that place was to please her first and formost.

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an even before sirius had a chance to defend his dead friends memories harry turned on him as well.

"you have a problem with what i said then you are welcome to leave as well. i only stated the facts. i know you were friends with my parents an it is hard to think of them in any other way but the best light but i am a realist. i see thing as they are not as i hope them to be or wish them to be but the hard cold facts. an the fact is my father died to give me and my mother a chance to get away and we did not." said harry.

" now after that i think we need a bit of fun." harry told sirius tooking as if trouble was coming " KREACHER."

with a pop kreacher was standing in front of harry.

" yes lord black how can kreacher be serving you?" asked the elf who now knew his new master was no worthless halfblood. an had even told off old dumbledork since kreacher had been listening from under the sink.

"i have a job for you to do. a job you are going to like a lot. that job is to serve the mudblood granger girl. now before you protest kreacher, the mudblood thinks all house elves should be set free. an that would mean that all house elves must have been very bad if they all get set free, right. so to teach the mudblood how great and helpful house elves can be. you will serve her, this will also piss off said mudblood, an pissing off mudbloods is always fun. an just to show her how much you do for her you will always be at her side no matter what. even when you are cooking her food for her or washing her clothes for her she will be at your side even if you have to body bind her to get her to stay there." stated harry.

" yes master, cursing the mudblood does sound like fun master black sir." stated kreacher who looked as if he was the happiest house elf ever. getting to curse a mudblood an do so on the orders of his new master how could any house elf be happier then him.

"remember you are allowed to defend yourself if she tries to hurt you kreacher, she is not your master i am. so why don't you just go show her how helpful you can be. an yes you are even able to be helpful enough to turn the pages in her books she is reading for her. so go show her just how helpful you can be." said harry in a voice so sweet in would give a bee a suger overdose.

" yes master, kreacher thinks this will be fun master black sir." an with that he popped away. only to be followed secondes later by.

" AAAHHHHH, KREACHER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HER? I AM TRYING TO TAKE A BATH. NOW OUT." yelled granger at the top of her lungs.

an even thou there were two doors between granger and kreacher and harry an sirius they still could hear kreacher say.

"i's is here to help miss take her bath and help her play with her sex toys." replied kreacher.

an with that harry threw up half a dozen black family wards to keep everyone and everything most of all sound out. harry kept himself hidden in that room for hours until he finally got pissed and barred everyone from the house but sirius, remus and tonks along with any children the three may have. because every time harry tried to leave the room several curses were shot at him or at least the door he was behind. if it had not been for the black family wards harry would most likely have been dead.

harry got many howlers over the following weeks from a very pissed off witch. something to do with the fact she could not ever clean herself up after useing the loo without kreacher helping her, let alone get a chance to play with all the great sex toys she had. she was forced by kreacher to stand and watch everything he did to be helpful to her. from making her bed to cooking for her to washing her clothes. she even tried to get away to the muggle world a few time to be free of kreacher but always found herself in a body bind. last anyone heard she had been put in st. mongo's mental ward for most likely the rest of her life at the age of 19.

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now i suck at details so i will not go into detail about how and when harry learned that intent, desire and picturing things becomes so important but to say. harry and tonk's were making love in the kitchen at grimwald place an harry thought the only thing that would make this better would to be on a private beach on a very soft bed overlooking the ocean. an next thing they knew that is just were they were at. it took harry more then a minute to figute out what the hell was going on but tonk's very soon got his mind and body back on the idea of making love. after 2 hours of love making she told him that things like that tend to happen when intence desire and intent is involved an that it was like accidental magic for grownups. so harry of course decided to try and repeat the event an not just when making love to tonk's which did happen at lot anyway.

an about 3 monthes after christmas remus finally got his head out of his ass an told harry how he felt about tonk's but that since harry and tonk's were a couple that he would step aside an let harry have her due to his werewolf problem an that he would be moving out the next day. harry of course then threatened to beat remus with a very big, very heavy club if he did not march down to the kitchen an tell tonk's what they were just talking about. an after a lot of threats from harry and yes a beating or 2 with said club remus did tell tonk's how he felt. as a result he ended up finding out harry and tonk's were just good friends who just happened to also like having sex with each other. what some people would call friends with benefits.

an harry did stick around until the end of what should have been his 5th year to take his N.E.W.T.s at the minister. but right after he left the country. since tonk's and remus were married and sirius had a girlfriend it seemed the right time. harry did pay his so-called family a visit on the way out of the country an left them all parting gifts since they did not win the game show called be nice to family. they all got compultion charms his aunts made it so she could only tell the whole truth about everything other then magic that is also she has a compulsion to have sex with animals in public. his uncle now thinks himself to be a cross-dresser who would rather have sex with old men rather then any female at all and this new lifes dream is to work in an adult book shop and always tell everyone the truth about everything other then magic. an for dear little dudley he decided his compultion would be the truth as well but he tells his truths to the police namely every crime he and his gang ever did. which would be over 2,000 assults on harry potter and other children in the area. an the last anyone heard all three of harry potter's so-called family were in jail for some crime or other. well we know dudley went to the cops all on this own and he and his gang got over 20 years in prison for thier crimes. an vernin he assaulted a police officer when the officer tried to help him finish his shopping because the store owner feared he may be there to harm a child. so vernin being vernin hit the cop with his purse and yes i said purse you see vernin was in the store in a white dress with red spots and red shoes, red purse and a red sun hat with matching gold jewery. so when he got halled away an they asked him about any other crimes he commited he told them all about the way he treated harry potter an the olny thing he could tell the cops about the location of said mr. harry potter was he was at some boarding school for freaks an they hoped he never came back. now i think i may have already stated earlier that harry's so-called family was all dead and if so well then they died in prison.

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A.N. YES I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT I JUST HAD TO GET IT OUT. MAINLY FOR THAT 1 FAN WHO HAS ME ON THIER FAVORITES LIST. NO TELLING IF THERE WILL BE MORE CHAPTERS HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE IF ANYTHING GOOD POPS INTO MY HEAD. SINCE THE MAIN IDEA WAS JUST TO HAVE HARRY TELL OFF GRANGER. THE SEX TOYS AN KREACHER HELPING GRANGER WITH EVERYTHING JUST KIND OF FOUND THIER WAY IN ALONG THE WAY.

a.n. yes i killed off ron because he is a whining brat i can't stand. he thinks all his brothers are better then him, which they are an thereby he never has to do anything since his brother have already done it all. an i killed of granger because she is annoying as hell with her know it all attitude. an percy he is dead gut because i don't like him one bit.

a.n. so you know the reason the ministries of the world decided to give in and have ministry council's is simple they could care less if the vampires, centures and werewolfs all went to great britain to live but they did decide rather fast that they could not live without giblins or house elves. an since the law forbids wizards from starting thier own banks or creating thier own money which are things the goblins won the right to after the first goblin wizard war then they are kind of screwed if all the goblins move to great britain. an the fat and lazy wizards that rule the goverments of the world would never think of cooking thier own dinner or washing thier own clothes so they need the house elves as well. an they know if they tried to go to war against either the house elves or goblins that war would last about 5 minutes if the goblins and house elves decided to work together.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. now i did not think for the life of me i would be writting a chapter 7 to this story. i thought it was over long ago. that just goes to show what i know, not a lot. declaimer i own nothing, never have an never will.

so you know we are jumping to the end of the boys first year at school. why is because it is my story an i say we are, so nah.

sirius black was very jumpy. he had just gotten a letter from his life long friend an the only person who would or could put up with his stupid jokes remus lupin. remus told him that yes he did have a VERY good lead on where his godson was at and was waiting for him and his family to show up to check it out.

an as we all know no sirius black in any story has ever been totally sane. so sirius did the only thing that made sence to him an that is to leave his job of 18 years an pack up the family to move to america.

" so when does this portkey leave?" asked sirius to his wife sue for the 32 time in the last 45 minutes.

" as i told you the, last 31 times. it leaves at 12:30 so that we will get to salem at 7:30 in the morning. which means we still have 10 minutes till we leave." said a very annoyed sue.

" do the kids have everything they need?" asked sirius.

" for the 57 time yes they have everything they own already packed and waiting in the livingroom." replied sue who could not wait to get to salem just to shut her husband up.

" yes dear i know i should sit down an shut up or you will curse my bits off, but can you blame me this will be the first time i have seen my godson since his 16th birthday party where he decided to take a portkey to merlin knows where." stated a very frustrated sirius black.

" yes i know dear. and i also know that if remus had not made you swear on your magic to let harry do thing his own way you would have gone after him and we would have never met or got married or have all these great children." said sue.

" they are great aren't they? even the ones who hate pranks." replied sirius.

" yes dear they are. even the ones who hate pranks. personally i think those are my favorite ones." stated sue.

" hay you are not supposed to have favorites. you are supposed to love us all the same." stated james the oldest at 17. an of course the reason he said this was because HE was the biggest prankster of the children. sirius and sue had 8 children ages 17, 15, 13, 11, 9, 7, 5, and 3.

" yes sweatheart i do love all of you the same, when you are not acting just like your father. an overgrown 3 year old." said his mother. " now everyone get ready the portkey leaves in 10 seconds."

an with that the whole black clan grabbed on to a big ring to be sent away to america.

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A.N. yes i know i gave the black family money to harry. an that is because sirius did not want the title of lord black. in thrueth it was because i was going on the canon idea he was dead but i decided not to kill him off. which means OoTP did not happen. sirius got set free by the ministry when they found peter and every other marked deatheater strung up naked by thier feet in the department of magical law enforcement christmas holiday during harry's 5th year.

so within seconds all 10 blacks had landed in the international portkey station in salem. were they were met by remus lupin his wife dora and all 7 of thier children. so now we have 10 blacks and 9 lupins all in the same place, someone is just asking for trouble with that mix.

"REMUS!!" yelled sirius as he ran right past the check in station. luckily for sirius sue had everyones paperwork so that he did not get them thrown in jail within seconds of entering the country.

of course remus was not doing much better seeing as how they were both talking a mile a minute to catch the other one up on what had been happening over all the years even thou they did owl each other about once a month the whole time.

" dora you look great, i can't believe you just had your 7th child not long ago." stated sue who took nearly a year to lose her weight after each of her children.

"just over 4 monthes ago. an by the way these our my little monster. this is james age 15, lily she is 13, sirius who is 11, anne she is 9, remus jr. who is 5 along with his twin trouble making brother david, an this pritty little one is catherine who is 4 months old." said dora.

" well i think my 9 monsters have your 7 beat. this is my 17 year old james, my 15 year old sirius jr., my 13 year old remus, my 11 year old fred, my 9 year old george, my 7 year old kevin, my 5 year old merlin, an last but not least is little lily at 3 years old." said sue who could not believe the trouble they were going to have with so many of the kids big and small having the same names.

A.N. no need to worry about keeping the kids remembered since they will hardly if ever be in the story as of right now that is. but that could change you never know, or at least wise i never know since i am only the author an the story tends to write it's self. i just put lots of kids in every family since j.k.r. rarely has anyone have brothers or sisters an if they do you never hear about them. so that we do not know about them. j.k.r. may know in her mind who has how many brothers and sisters but thought it pointless to the storyline to put it in. an anyone who is wondering why i waited so long after voldimort's death to bringing down dumbledore? the answer is simple i wanted some things to happen in the current time instead of the whole story being one big flashback. of course if i wanted to make everything i have written so far a flashback it would be easy i just need to throw in a scene that says harry is telling this story to his grandchildren. as a matter of fact i might just do that to keep the idea of it being a flashback story alive, since the flashbacks to harry's early years are over everything from now on should all be current time. we will have to wait and see. an the reason i did not tell you all before that the whole story even the current time stuff may end up being flashbacks is because i just came up with it now.

an once everyone knew who everyone else was or at least had some idea of some of the peoples names everyone piled into a magically enlarged mini bus that the school lowned remus. within 30 minutes they were pulling up to the school.

" so where is harry at?" asked sirius.

" for the 17th time you will have to ask professor nighthawk when we get to the school. an hope you have better luck getting the details as to where harry is out of him then i have. all i know for sure is that the man DOES know where harry is." stated remus. " an before you ask AGAIN why i did not just pour trueth serum down his throat is because if i found out where harry was and went there without permission harry may just up and leave AGAIN." stated remus who thought this was just to much fun. an yes the older kids of remus and dora are in on the joke and know that sirius is asking about harry potter who is in fact professor nighthawk. an they are having a very hard time keeping a staight face.

it is now 8 a.m. on the first saturday of the summer holiday. an harry is getting ready to leave the school to take himself and his sons to visit his club pleasure and pain. ever since christmas holiday harry has taken the boys with him to the club every satuday and sunday morning when he goes.

"are you boys ready to go?" asked harry already knowing the answer but asking anyway. his sons looked forward to thier beating sessions at the club almost as much if not more then harry looked forward to his own.

"got to go mom love you, bye " said kyle and stone as they raced from the table were they had just finished breakfast to meet thier father in the livingroom.

"have fun you all. an get a few broken bones for me while your at it." said jen an even thou she personally did not like being beaten or beating others she would not stop them from doing something they loved so much and they were under the expert care of harry and the others at the club who knew how to intude pain without REALLY hurting someone.

" yah as if, mistress catherine has yet to even fracture a bone yet let alone break one." replied stone to his mother.

" well maybe for your birthday your father might let mistress catherine break your leg. how does that sound, but only if you are good." stated jen

"do you mean it !! for real !! you have a deal mom. an to prove it no more pranks till after my birthday, not even one on dad." replied stone of course since it is the middle of june already stone only had to hold out for a month and a half which he thought he could do to get a broken leg from mistress catherine.

"what about me?" asked kyle hoping his mother would make him the same deal.

"well no pranks till your birthday an yes you can get a broken leg as well. as long as mistress catherine agrees to it." replied jen.

"ALL RIGHT, DEAL!!" yelled kyle

"what about me?" asked harry knowing he already gets several broken bones per session, but wanted to see what his wife would say.

"well i KNOW mistress shannon gives you AT LEAST 2 or 3 broken bones per session. so if no pranks from you till your birthday an I will break your leg in 3 places for you. an that is in addition to our normal monthly session." stated jen knowing how much that would mean to him since she only got up the nerve to do this to harry about once a month. now harry could of course use his magic to break his own brones while making love to his wife but it was just never the same as having her to it for him.

"DEAL!! DEAL!! DEAL!!" stated harry not even having to think about it.

of course jen had a secret weapon. an that was that SHE knew where dora and remus had gone with the kids this morning and harry an her boys did not. so she knew if all 3 kept that agreement then they would of course need a treat as payment.

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just out side the very room where this deal was now being struck were remus ALL the lupin's and ALL the black family.

"so where is this nighthawk guy at remus?" asked sirius, he could not wait to find harry even if it ment cursing nighthawk into telling him. he would even use the unforgivables if need be, even thou he had promissed himself to never use them once he left his family at age 15. an so far he had kept that promis even when going against wormtail who had basically killed the only real family he ever had in james and lily. he was not going to lose any more family no matter what and harry was family.

so harry and the boys started to head out to get past the wards to head to the club in boston when harry bumps into someone right as he steps out the door of his rooms.

A.N. an yes harry could have left from his rooms but he tries to hide just how powerful he is for the most part. plus if he did not walk out of the room he could not have bumped into sirius.

"oh sorry, my fault." stated harry as he kept walking in a hurry to get to the club with the boys.

"HARRY??" yelled sirius

" sirius??" questioned harry as he finally took notice of who he bumped into.

" harry!!" said sirius again as he grabbed harry into a hug.

" what are you doing here sirius? i mean it is great to see you, an i knew you WOULD be here sooner or later after dumbledore was delt with but how come i was not told you were coming?" babbled harry trying to look between sirius and rumes at the same time. knowing right away who was behind this. since remus could not keep the grin off his face to save his life.

" well REMUS here told me that some guy named nighthawk knew where you were at, an that he was waiting for me and the family to get here to confront him. SO if YOU are mr. nighthawk since this is HIS room then that would mean that MR. LUPIN has finally learned to pull a prank on us." stated sirius

"remus is this true? you knew he was coming and did not say anything?" asked harry, an of course by this time jen had come out to watch the show. even thou no one knew since everyone was stuck watching sirius and harry.

"well i am not the only one who knew, so did dora and jen." stated remus hoping to deflect at least some of any anger that may be coming his way. an YEP remus just threw both the womwn under the bus hoping to save himself, or threw them to the lions to save himself if that metaphor works better for you.

" ah honey, were you and the boys not headed for the club?" asked jen who was just now noticed as being there.

" sure an you can take sirius with you. i am sure he would just love it. an you can catch up while there over a few drinks." suggested remus who knew all about the club since he made the mistake of going with harry ONCE an found out REALLY fast he did NOT want to go again.

" now you boys DO want to go to the club now don't you?" asked jen to her boys. an giving them THE MOTHER DEATH GLARE that says you WILL agree or else you will live to regret it.

now since kyle and stone are anything but stupid they KNEW how thier mother would punish them if they did not agree. namely no beating allowed until thier birthday. so they agreed whole heartedly.

an dora caught on fast as well an said it would be a great idea, then started moving 4 though the school toward the wards before anyone even knew what was happening.

back in the teachers hallway sue was looking more then a little confused. " does someone want to let me in on what is up with this club?"

"harry happens to own the club they are going to." stated jen as she lead everyone into her apartment to get more comfortable. " an the club is called pleasure and pain. an it called that for a reason, since everyone at the club either likes to beat people or be beaten or at least to watch."

"an WHY did you send what i can only figure are your sons to a club like THAT with our husbands??" asked sue who was now not to sure how bright this woman she had just met was. sending her HUSBAND AND HER SONS to a club like THAT with sirius. who would in NO WAY let ANYONE beat him, no matter how good looking they may be. sounds like a deatheater hang out to her.

"well my husband AND my sons just happen to like being beaten. an since i did not like doing the beating they go to the club an have the expert mistresses there do the job." stated jen challenging sue to tell HER how to run HER family life.

" hold it. i am not here to start a fight. but i can tell you that MY husband will NOT find this funny in the least. which that in and of it's self WILL be funny to the rest of us. i mean do you know how many STUPID pranks i have had to put up with thanks so THAT MAN. it is about time someone got back at him." said sue once she thought about it.

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in the alley outside of pleasure and pain.

"ah harry if we ARE going to a bar to drink and catch up, do you want to tell me why we bought these kids along?" asked sirius

"simple sirius. these are the future owners of the club. since i am now the current owner an they need to learn to run the club." stated harry who had figured out what was going on about halfway out of the teachers building. i mean harry could be a bit dim once in a while BUT even HE could see this was a setup. everyone just happened to be a little TO in favor of them going to the club.

an stone and kyle who would have been in ravenclaw if they had been sorted at hogwarts could really pritty much care less if this was a setup or not. they were getting to go to the club to get 1 of thier 2 weekly beatings an that was all that mattered to them.

now as sirius walked into the club to could tell something did not seem right to him. maybe it was that the club was painted 3 different colores. 1 section was all red the middle section was all blue and the last section was totally green. if they would have had a yellow section he would have thought this place to be some sort of hogwarts hangout but since this was america it was unlikely. now what REALLY got his attention thou was the fact that most of the people in the red section were in different kinds of leather outfits some that covered almost nothing all the way to the ones that covered EVERYTHING even thier faces were covered in what looked like leather masks. an almost ever woman in the section seemed to have on high heeled boots or shoes that if you got kicked in a certain area you WOULD know you were kicked. an you most likely would NOT be walking straight for a while. also everyone in this section seemed to have at LEAST 1 or more items that looked as if they could hurt a great deal if hit by them. some had whips, some had riding crops and other had cat of nine tails while other had things he did NOT want to know about.

"uuuhhh...harry... are you SURE we are in the right place? this does NOT look like a place I should be let alone you or these children?" asked a very worried sirius black who was reaching for his wand just in case anything happened.

" of course sirius it is perfectly safe in here. now boy please go find mistress catherine an ask her to come see me before your beating section. i need to talk to her about breaking your leg bones for your birthday." stated harry, an with that the boys ran off to do as thier father asked.

"now harry, i am all in favor of a great prank but don't you think this is taking it a bit far? i mean hiring all these people to dress up like this?" asked sirius figuring he was now safe since he figured out that this whole setup was just a prank.

" this is not a prank sirius. this IS a real club and I do own it. an the people here do enjoy beating people, getting beaten themselves or just watching the beatings. the people in the red section like to DO the beating. theones in the blue section LIKE to be beaten and those in the green like to watch. an if you want to be safe the best place for you would be sitting at the bar in green section. since those at the bar are not looking to PLAY right now, an everyone knows this." stated harry not to happy that his godfather thought this was just some great big prank. i mean even straight laced remus never thought to just laugh off harry club as a prank. remus thought harry might be insane but NEVER thought harry had set this all up as a prank.

" OH SURE . next your going to tell me your going to get your sons a punctured lung each for christmas right." stated sirius still not believing harry would come to a place like this LET ALONE own it.

"sirius orion black. i am NOT joking, this club IS real and i DO like coming here to be beaten." stated a rather annoyed harry. "an as far as my boys getting a puncured lung i think that would be better saved for thier next birthday. christmas will more then likely be 2 broken ribs each."

but before sirius could say anything else a woman walked up who was about 6 feet tall with long blonde hair nearly down to her bum. an she was wearing almost nothing but a smile an holding what looked to be a cat of nine tail with metal on the end of each of the tails.

"harry the boys said you wished to speak to me before thier session today?" asked the woman who had to be mistress catherine.

"yes mistress. it seems thier mother has told them they will each get a broken bone for thier birthday if they behave until then. an i was wondering if you would not mind being the one to break one of thier leg bones on each of them as thier present. also i would like it IF it pleases you of course. to work your way up to that between now and then. say such as starting with a small fracture on each of them, starting today mistress?" asked harry in his most submissive voice since he knew the rules. an that is when it comes to HER sesstion SHE is the boss no matter who signs the paychecks.

"normally i would NEVER do fractures OR brake bones BUT since i do know that they seem to have the same superhuman mutant healing that you do i will agree. BUT if they come in here so much as ONCE in anything but perfect health it will be back to nothing but the riding crop for them. AM I UNDERSTOOD." stated mistress catherine.

"yes mistress. thank you mistress." stated harry, kyle and stone all at the same time.

"mistress permission to speak please?" asked harry

"granted." stated mistress catherine.

"would mistress catherine happen to know where mistress shannon is?" asked harry

" i do think she is waiting for you in the breakroom and is NOT happy about you being late. i do think she said something about you ONLY getting 3 broken ribs in todays session, instead of the 3 broken ribs a fractured pelvis and a crushed ankle as punishment. so i will take these 2 for thier beating and YOU BETTER get to mistress shannon before she gets any more pissed off at you." stated mistress catherine

"yes mistress, thank you mistress" stated harry as he left to find mistress shannon.

now that harry and his sons had run off sirius was not so sure what to make of this place. if this really was a prank they were doing one hell of a job pulling it off. but just in case it is not a prank sirius decided to take harry's advice an park himself at the bar in green section.

1 very tense hour later sirius FINALLY got to see harry and his sons come out of the back rooms. an sirius said to himself prank or not he is NEVER coming back to this club again EVER.

"well how was your sessions today boys?" asked harry as they were getting near to sirius.

"i got a factured leg AND an orgasum!" stated a very happy stone.

"an what about you kyle?" asked harry.

"well i got the fracture but my magic started to heal it before i could get off." said a disapointed kyle.

"next time try forcing your magic to hold off until you are done, also you might try asking mistress catherine for permission to speak and ask her for more pain in your session, that might help." said harry who DID hope his son got the more pain in his next session that he seemed to need. an no he would not ask mistress catherine for his son. he had already done enough sticking his nose into thier sessions already by asking for the fractures and broken leg. it would not be safe for him to ask for anything else for a while. an the only real reason he got away with asking for what he did today was because it was a buildup to thier birthday presents.

"uuuhhhh... harry can we go now?" asked sirius

" i would really like to... see my wife soon." said sirius just a little to fast for harry to totally believe him.

"what seems to be the REAL problem sirius?" asked harry

"that guy over there has been watching me since i sat down. an has been shaking his feathers at me in a way that is just NOT normal." stated sirius.

"ah.. that guy.. is tony and he is harmless. he just wants you to move from green section bar to blue section tables so he can tie you up and tickle you with feathers till you piss yourself is all." replied harry as if this was an everyday thing, which to him it is. " THIS is the PLEASURE and pain club after all. an tony happens to be the president of one of the local banks, and the first thing you learn here is you did not see anyone or anything an they did not see you."

"uuuhhh... i would still like to go now if is all the same to you." nearly begged sirius.

an with that everyone in the little group left to go back to the school.

A.N. an so you know i know nothing about such clubs and am just making it up as i go along. so if anyone out there does belong to such a club please do not get mad if i get something wrong. an whatever you do PLEASE do NOT beat me, that is not my idea of fun. 


	8. Chapter 8

year 2103 harry's family home in boston mass. u.s.a. an no i have not decided if the people harry is telling this story to are his grandchildren or great grandchildren it would most likely be great grandchildren but i will leave that call up to you all the readers.

"ah grandpa harry i thought in your story you told uncle sirius what happens at the club stays at the club and who you see at the club you did not see at the club? so why are you telling us what happened at the club then?" asked david

"well there are several reasons i can tell you what i have so far. number 1 you all have been to the club more then once seeing as most of you are members and visit at least once a week each. number 2 reason is that the people i named all gave permission to have thier names used when they agreed to have thier sessions taped an put on the internet. so everyone who goes to our site can learn thier names. an as you noticed i did leave out what happened in the sessions since that is solely between the mistress and the customer unless they want the session posted on the internet."stated harry to ruffly 2 dozen people sitting in front of him.

"now where were we... oh yes sirius had just vowed to himself to never go back to the club ever and was nearly begging to go back to the school.

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back in salem just after leaving the club.

" harry that CLUB as you call it may be your idea of fun but i think i will stick to the three broomsticks from now on if you don't mind." stated sirus.

"ah.. sirius you do know what the rooms for rent above the three broomsticks are used for don't you?" questioned harry.

" seeing as i have rented those rooms before then yes i know, but they at least do not put it on public display for everyone to see downstairs. you are not going to see a middle aged man in leather and feathers trying to get you to go upstairs at the three broomsticks so he can tie you up an tickle you untill you wet your pants." said sirius as the started to enter the teachers building.

"so you know there ARE clubs in the wizarding world that are worse then mine. at some of THOSE clubs you can do ANYTHING you want for the right price even murder." replied harry.

an how would you know that?" asked sirius knowing he would regret the answer as soon as he asked the question.

"simple i have been to the fang and dagger in knockturn alley once before i left england. an at least at my club we have safe words so that if the pain gets to much you can get it to stop. at the fang and dagger there are no safe words." said harry

"that is more then i wanted to know. can we just forget this trip ever happened?" asked sirius nearly begging at this point.

"what do you think boys should we let him off the hook or fix him up with tony for his birthday?" harry asked his sons.

"you know the rules dad. what happens at the club, stays at the club. BUT since it was not OUR idea for you to go in the first place we can not speak for how those who set you up will re-act when we see them. an since we are now back at our rooms thou i think we are about to find out if they agree with the rules?" stated stone who could not wait for this. seeing as HIS MOTHER of all people was one of the main ones involved. an he knows how she dislikes pranks of any kind.

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once they entered the apartment kyle KNEW sirius was in deep shit. since there were no signs of the other kids at all.

" so how was your trip dear?" asked sue when she spotted her husband.

"just fine honey." said sirius hoping with every thing he had that if he played it cool this little trip would NOT end up being a ten year running joke for everyone.

"that's good to hear. so did you meet lots of nice people while you were out?" asked sue knowing that her husband was not telling the truth.

"oh yes there were several nice people there." responded sirius wondering how long this nightmare would last.

"that is great dear. so does that mean that since harry here thinks this club is a proper place for his children to go, that you will be taking ours with you as well the next time you go?" asked sue loving every second of this little game.

"uuuhhh...no sweety, i don't think this is the kind of club OUR children would enjoy." said sirius

"but WHY dumpling, you said your trip was fine and you met several nice people. an harry DOES let his sons go to this club with him, an his kids are only just going on 12 years old. we have several that are older then that." stated sue

"let's cut the crap. sirius what REALLY happened at the club?" demanded jen.

"now honey you know what happens at the club stays at the club. plus sirius IS very good at pranks so he may get a bit up set at reliving it. an thereby get revenge on those who set him up." said harry who looked at his godfather who was now praying to every god out there that everyone would just drop the topic of the club. since every time someone said THE CLUB all he could see was a middle aged man dress in head to toe leather with tons and tons of feathers.

"now dear you know that since i no longer go to the club i do not have to go by your clubs rules, since they can not ban me since i no longer go there. but since i did go there for a long while to end up snagging the owner i have a good idea who was there AND just what happened. such as i am rather sure good ole tony was there flurting his middle aged butt off. an yes MR. BLACK from the look on your face i can tell you met tony, so if MR. BLACK messes with me i just need to pull out the leather and feathers." stated jen

now at the mear mention of leather and feathers sirius black wanted to be any place but where he was now. as long as that other place had no leather OR no feathers at all.

"now you know dear if you are going to pull out the leather and feathers you BETTER have a steel pipe as well, to use to break my ribs to finish what you started namely turning me on." stated harry in a matter of fact tone.

"of course sweatheart, i would make sure my trips into leather and feathers matched up with your monthly beating sessions." responded jen.

now at this point sue black had no idea if she should fall over laughing at the look on her husbands face or go running and screaming from the room at finding out MUCH more then she ever wanted to know about harry and jen's sex life.

of course kyle, stone, dora and remus were just sitting back watching a great show and saying nothing. of course kyle and stone could not really say anything even if they wanted to since they were club members and wanter to remain same said club members. also they did NOT want to bring notice to the fact they were in the room an as a result be made to leave.

after the threat from jen the next several weeks past without so much as 1 prank being played by anyone. mainly because even thou sirius orion black would NEVER admit it to anyone even his wife, he DID have nightmares about leather and feathers attacking him. which harry did happen to over hear once an that is how he is able to rell about it.

an the boys did get more pain in there later sessions with mistress catherine which they were most greatful for. an when they did get thier broken leg each for thier birthday they thought they had found heaven, an literally BEGGED mistress catherine to break more of thier bones every time she gave them permission to speak.

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now harry did work on one thing leading up to his birthday an that was a throw back to his saving people thing as granger used to call it. since his magic had no limits for the most part other then his own mind he used it to link ALL the magical schools in the world into a protective interconnected network to keep out all truelly dark and evil beings. if one of these beings tried to enter it would rip out thier magical core and use it to help power the network. the great thing about the network is that all the schools share power so that if someone tried to drain one schools wards they would have to drain them all to get in, also if they tried to overload one schools wards to bring them down the extra power could just be shipped to other schools. this ward is also set up so that if a curse breaker tries to bring the ward down they lose thier magical core while the ward as a result of the new core added in only gets stronger. an no this does not mean harry is going to go back to saving every little kitten stuck up every tree, just that he thinks the children should not have to pay for the adults being stupid or lazy. it also opens up the options that i could use if i do ever come up with a new chapter. also the reason for harry's slight change is he is now a father as is remus and sirius an he wants to keep all those kids safe. an why he did not do this a year ago is the number of kids to keep safe is growing to large for him to keep track of all of them ALL the time. or at least that is the reason i am using since i just thought up the idea. an yes the shielding wards do cover the floo also.

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A.N. an before anyone asks the reason tom riddle did not end up being a christmas present to the ministry is that harry overlooked the fact tom himself has no dark mark. an the dark mark is what was used a the trigger. anyone with the dark mark was sent to the department of magical law enforcement stripped and hung upside down to wait to be found.

yes i know this chapter is very short but i can not think of anything else to put since i really stink at the day to day events. now hopefully for those who are still reading this i may sooner or later get more ideas an put more chapters but as of right now i think the story is over BUT i have thought that before as well. so only time will tell if the story goes on.

A.N. now the problem i have come across is that with harry able to create any spell, any where, any time is that then runs into the old saying absolute power currupts absolutly also the fact that harry left england to prevent everyone from always looking to one person to save everyone all the time. now going by those rules harry for the most part HAS to not use his powers an become a nobody. which means no great fights against whichever bad guys happen to come along. now he of course as a teacher can defend the school from attack but with the new shield ward that should not likely be needed often either.


	9. Chapter 9

A.N. now so you know this is most likely going to be a short chapter but i decided to put it out anyway. for the one person who has me on their favorites list this is for you.

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year 2103 place potter manner. now harry was just getting ready to tell more of the story when a very big pink elephant with purple spots came flying threw the room. now why he was there is simple it would be funny to see. think about it you are sitting reading this then all of the sudden a very real very big pink elephant with purple spots comes flying into the room. if you do not think that would be funny then i hope the elephant poops on you then. since i would think it was funny after i got clean underwear.

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augest 6, 2016 just 6 days after harry and the boys birthdays and one week after the boys both got their first broken leg each.

" harry can i talk to you please?" asked mistress catherine.

"of course mistress catherine. can we hold this talk here or in my office?" asked a worried harry, since mistress catherine had just finished her session with his sons he was hoping there were no problems with that.

"your office will be fine." stated mistress catherine. so she and harry went to his office with the boys in tow. since harry figured this had to do with them then they had every right to sit in on it. an if it did not well they were the future bosses of the club so they should find out how business is handled.

"well harry as much as i hate to say this i have to find a new job." stated mistress catherine.

"but why? has anything happened i should know about? something with the boys or one of the other customers?" asked a very confused harry. catherine had been with the club since it opened 20 years ago. harry had found her while he was scouting location for his new club. she was being beaten up by her pimp because he thought she was holding money back on him. harry had grabber a dagger out of his boot an stabbed the guy in the back puncturing a lung then precided to cut off both his arms right below the elbow. lucky for the guy the hospital was just a block away but even with that the man nearly blead to death. over the years most of harry's workers came to him from those same street looking for a way out. lucky for harry he was able to afford armed guards to keep the club and it's workers safe from pimps who were not ready to lose their girls.

" no!! this is a great job. the kids are great as well. an the other customers know better then to try ANYTHING with me or in your club. it is just that my daughter sammy, you remember her don't you? well, she just got a chance to go to a private boarding school for the gifted. an it costs 20,000 dollars a year. an before you offer, no i will NOT let you pay it for me. harry i already have a dept to you that could NEVER be repayed as does almost everyone working at this club. you took almost everyone working here off the streets. you showed us that someone did care if we lived or died. an yes more then a few have ended up back on the street but your were still there when they wanted out AGAIN. an you put them to work her again." stated a very determined mistress catherine.

"ah. catherine. this school for the gifted is in salem, right. also called the salem institute of magic correct.?" questioned harry already knowing the answer. since he had gotten a copy of the new student list the other day, but never put 2 + 2 together that samantha clark was little sammy one of his best bartender helpers. of course she really does not do that much but wash some glasses and empty the trash every now and again when catherine can't find a sitter. an for that she gets free drinks and food which she would get anyway but she wants to earn it herself. he even went so far as to give her an office all to herself with only her and her mother having keys to it. of course the reason for this was that the staff was never leaving the break room once he put several video game systems in there for her to play. so he had to name her assistant food and beverage manager an tell her these were perks of her new job. along with about 500 fiction and non-fiction books and cable t.v. in her new office.

A.N. an yah i know where can i get a job like that. sorry those jobs only happen in fiction.

"it is my job to know. i know just about everything about everyone who enters my club. so you will still work here for me and i will loan you 140,000 dollars to pay for sammy's schooling and take 10,000 dollars a year out of your pay for the next 14 years. an in truth how i know is that i cheat. i happen to teach at that very school and my sons here are student there. so sammy will not be totally alone there." said harry

an sammy and the boys do know each other since harry closes down the club one day a month an has everyone who works there throw a party for themselves and their family. an that is also the same day harry and his manager frank go over the books for the month. so that if anything is wrong the person is on hand to question about the problem. of course in most cases it is only a bartender skimming money out of the register into his or her own pocket. an most of the time frank already found that out with his nightly and weekly checks of the books but it is a good reason to have a party.

"oh harry, i don't know how i could thank you for this. i was so worried how i would find a new job that pays better then here. seeing as i get 35,000 dollars a year here an we both know i do NOT have a whole lot of other skills. but 20,000 dollars for tuition would have left me broke after taxes and rent i would not even have been able to eat other then the nights i work." replied a very happy mistress catherine.

A.N. yes the club and everything that happens in it are legal since there is no sex going on. an yes everyone who works there does pay taxes to the goverment just like everyone else in the country does. an mistress catherine pays about 8,000 dollars in taxes a year. which would leave her about 7,000 dollars a year after paying her daughters tuition. an mistress catherine lives in a somewhat bad area of town an still pays 650 dollars a month rent for a one bedroom, one bath, with a kitchen that it, 2 rooms and a bathroom nothing else.

"it is no problem. you know we always take care of our own here. an you are family after all." said harry an with that mistress catherine went back to work a very happy and releaved woman.

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now this chapters good deed by harry is going to be to cure remus of being a werewolf for his birthday. now i have not seen remus birthday listed of course i have not looked for it either so i am putting it in the middle of august. now since remus is generally a selfless man i do not think he would want a cure if it was just for him. an harry would know this so on remus birthday harry cures all werewolves world wide. an no, do not get your hopes up for a super harry gift to the world every chapter.

harry also decided to be a bit greedy as well an give himself a present on remus birthday and bring his parents back from the dead. of course this was also a gift to remus and sirius since harry himself had no memories of his parents. then they would more or less be total strangers to him. so with the intent to bring his parents back and the desire to see remus and sirius happy again he pictured his parents the way they looked on their wedding day and added as much magic as he could.

"james were are we?" asked lily.

"you are in salem instatute of magic and the year is 2016. ruffly 35 years after your deaths at the hands of voldimorte" stated harry.

"harry is that you?" asked a still confused lily potter.

"yes i am harry potter but here i go by the name harry nighthawk." replied harry.

an with that said lily and james leaped at harry trying to send all the love they had for their son to him threw one big hug.

"well you don't seem to happy to see us? i thought there would be lots of tears and blubbering an stuff like that." stated james to his son.

"an why would i do that? since i for the most part have never met you before an thereby do not know what it is really like to love and then lose you. now i would of course like to get to know you. i just hope the stories i have heard are only a small part of who you really are. otherwise i will be greatly disapointed to have a bully and a thug for a father who is for the most part no better then a deatheater."responded harry.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR OWN FATHER!!" yelled lily.

"because it is true and a simple statment of fact. he uses pranks on people just as deatheaters used pain curses to hurt others just so he could have a laugh. an before you tell me how it is not the same at all, my wife would beg to differ on that point. an if i have to pick on siding with my wife and you well then you lose. since SHE can with hold sex AND make me sleep on the floor." harry told them point blank. " now since you can NOT go running around as james and lily potter since they HAVE been dead for 35 years we will need to change your name, faces and histories."

an with that harry started waving his wand around. before long both lily had straight black hair and higher cheek bones making her look like a very rich snob and james had blonde hair and slightly bigger nose that was hooked so that they both looked as thou malfoy sr. and snape had mated and had children. james was anything but pleased with his new look.

" now as for your histories james you are mark david slone and this is your wife annie mary pickle slone. you are both mugglesborns from here in salem who were homeschooled together when your families could not afford to send you to salem institute of magic. an yes i have created records for both of you with the ministry. now how you know me is simple annie your grandmother was my wife jen's great aunt seeing as my wife's grandfather and your grandmother were brother and sister. an you have not seen my wife or i since we were married, since my wife insisted on calling you by your last name of pickle which you hate. so that IS why my wife KNOWS how much pain can be caused by name calling and pranks. because there really was a cousin named annie pickle on my wifes side of the family and she was teased an took her own life as a result. now my wife was not the one to tease her but annie was teased an commited suicide. so the records state you are 20 years old and were married october 31, 2015. an so you know i have made it so that even thou sirius and remus WILL know who you really are they can NOT do anything stupid to let anyone else know an you all are also stuck with that as well." stated harry.

"do you REALLY think we would be that dumb as to go telling people who we really are? do you have that little faith is us?" asked a very hurt james/mark.

"no to be honest i have less faith then that in you and sirius. i don't see it being more then a day before you all would be talking about the good old days at hogwarts and him calling you pronges without you all giving a damb about whoever is around." replied harry.

" you would give them a day? i would say more like an hour if that. an yes MARK he seems to know you and your friends rather well." stated lily/annie

"now i am going to call remus and his wife, sirius and his wife and my wife down here to let them know what is going on. an the 8 of us will be the ONLY ones to know who you really are. an no, not even the strongest truth potion will be able to get past the stories i have created for you. an before you EVEN THINK about pulling a prank around here, DON'T. since the only ones that are fair game for pranking are the staff and the headmisteress will not think twice about using truth potions to find out who pulled a prank. then the staff get to prank you back, an we are very good at pranks. two students tried pulling a prank on my wife when we first got here, they ended up spending the whole christmas holiday as jackasses. that was almost a year ago an no one has dared mess with her again." said harry.

so harry called everyone in and after over 2 hours of blubbering by sirius, remus and james harry had finally locked the new story about these people into everyones heads. an yes harry does end up telling his sons that these people are his grandparents.

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	10. Chapter 10

A.N. now this is for those for still reading the story about 20 in all.

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yes i have thought about the idea of sending harry back to kill tommy boy before harry was even born. the problem with that then becomes the second harry does that he no longer exists. so what he would then need to do is before killing tom go and let his future parents know what is going on an use his magic to make sure history does turn out the way it is remembered by future harry. namely harry leaving school after 5th year going to boston and starting his club plus meeting his wife so they can end up having children. an of course we can not forget the part about throwing the rule book of magic out the window. an yes future harry would take out the all the deatheaters before he took out tommy boy. an yes we would have james make harry head of the family so that we still end up getting the magical council instead of just a minister of magic. of course if we have harry do all that then for the most part nothing will have changed so he may as well stay in the timeline he is. harry would have a better childhood an a lot of people would still be alive but other then that everything would be the same. so if you want to think harry went back an changed some things i will not stop you but i will also not write it myself. so you get to decide for yourselves in your own minds just how much harry did or did not change in the past.

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of course i would like to know where the name hogwarts came from? it sounds to me as thou it was named by a drunk pig farmer.

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now what REALLY happened to everyone least loved family of pigs the dursley's. well vernon had a life no one really know about. he owned gunning drills which was a front company for is 37 adult movie houses and book stores. so when people thought vernon was making deals for other people to buy drills he has really making deals to buy sex toys to sell in his shops.

so after vernon put on his best dress, oh did i forget to mention he was a cross dresser who went by the name veronica. an yes i know a fat man with a mustache in a dress not a good site, but i never said he made a pritty woman. well after she got herself made up she went to a meeting where she sold gunning drills and all the businesses it owned for 3 times what it was worth. an on the way back from the meeting all she could think about was all the pritty shoes she could buy. an never even knew she ran into another car let alone that in said car was his wife, sister and son. well lets just say no one walked away from the scene alive. an since the papers were signed but the check never cashed the new owner of gunning drills ended up getting it for free because there was no one left to cash the check. that an the fact the check burned up in the car fire that took everyone life.

an yes i could have stuck everyone in the dursley family in the local zoo as hippo's or some other animal but then that would be crule to the other animals at the zoo to have to put up with them.

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now back at hogwarts old minny went nuts with all the changes to the school an her sister had to come and put her in st. mongoes long term mental ward for the rest of her days where she ended up still she died at age 172. of course she ended up spending most of that time in her own private room after nearly being beaten to death with house slippers 3 different times. of course you can not really blame her former room mates, no one can take hearing the 'i'm a little teapot' song from morning till night everyday. even a sane person would try to kill the singer of the song sooner or later.

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now as for fred and george they did end up putting zonko's joke shop out of business. an to this day it has never been proved they were the ones to start the fire that burned down zonko's warehouse that held all their pranks waiting to be shipped out all over the world. as a matter of fact they happened to be at a wizumgot meeting at the time with over 100 people and beings to prove it.

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an as for hogwarts it's self there was never a funner place to go to school as long as you liked pranks that is. seeing as the twins went as far as to open a weasley wizarding weazes in the school it's self. taking the whole third floor for the new shop.

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harry and jen ended up having a total of nine kids. 3 sets of twin's and the last a set of triplets. an all of them learned to do magic 'the harry potter way'. an the press never did end up figuring out harry nighthawk and harry potter were one in the same. of course that is most likely due to the fact that outside of great britain most people could care less about harry potter. since they are not having things shoved down their throats all the time about him by the press. an as far as harry and jen's date of death that is unknown since santa clause still brings gifts to children even 2,000 years later. is it them or is it a family member still doing the job? only santa REALLY knows an he is not telling as of this posting.

an kyle and stone did end up taking pleasure and pain to be world wide club business. that takes in 400 hundred million of dollars a year, plus twice that from the on-line web site for a total of over 1.4 billion dollars a year. an both ended up getting married an not to each other and had dozens of kids each. at last count stone had 23 children while kyle had 17. of course kyle and stone only fathered the children they never became pregent themselves.

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as for lily, james, sirius, sue, remus and dora they all had many more children an lived happy lives till they were all well over 100 years old each. an after everyone else had died dora ended up finding out a very well kept secret. an that is that as a metamorph she will only die when she wants to. so dora left her home an spent that least the next 2,000 years living with the rest of the metamorphs of the world calling themselves vampires. yes that is right the vampires of the world are in fact metamorphs who just got tired of creating a new name, new face and history for themself every 100 years or so. an as for the vampires who die in wars, well those are metamorphs who have just decided it is time to die an are going to commit suicide by letting themselves be murdered to carry on the vampire legend.

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now this little bit is just about some meaningless backgroud. some stuff i always wanted to put in. draco malfoy DID almost get into hufflepuff in my would since he is loyal to his family, loyal to purebloods and loyal to what ever wanker calls themself a dark lord. draco had to beg and plead for nearly 20 minutes with the sorting hat to get into slytherin. now ron weasley his greed at any cost almost got him into slytherin an if it had not been for needing cunning and ambishtion an the fact he is totally lazy he could have been the poster child for slytherin. an as far as crabb and goyle go they have a great deal of ambishtion it is just a shame that it is only to be able to dress themselves properly without help on the first try in the morning. an before you ask me "well if crabbe and goyle are so dumb how did they make it passed first year?" i never said they did make it passed first year, as a matter of fact they each spent 7 years as a first year. an at the age of 18 thier mothers took pitty on them and withdrew them. an neither the crabb or goyle lines did not have any children threw them thankfully. an granger she has ton's of ambishtion when it comes to proving to the purebloods she is just as good as they are, but her you must NEVER break any rule ever no matter what the reason that kept her out of the house of the snakes.

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an that is all she wrote people, or in this case all he wrote. if someone wants to pick it up an go on then that is fine. an as to why i put in so many people who do nothing is because that leaves it open for ideas for the next person to build on. an do not forget to check out my other works of crap as well.


	11. Chapter 11

disclaimer: i am not j.k.r. nor do i get paid for this story.

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FLASHBACK TO HARRY'S SORTING DONE MY WAY. also bits of other years as well but not in detail.

alright all these snot nosed brats get shoved into the great hall were the older students can not wait for this to be over so they can get food.

skip to sorting.

granger: "ah miss granger it seems to me that you have a great ambition and desire to prove yourself in your new world so i can only in truth put you in one house." "SLYTHERIN" yells out the sorting hat the the crowd.

malfoy: "well mr. malfoy it seems you are very loyal to both family and the dard lord, since everything you say seems to start with my father says. then there is but one house for you." states the hat.

"that is right hat put me in slytherin were i belong and be quick about it." replys draco to the hat.

"of course mr malfoy right were you belong." "HUFFLEPUFF" yells the hat for all to hear.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HUFFLEPUFF, I AM NOT A PUFF I AM DRACO MALFOY AND THEREBY I WILL BE IN SLYTHERIN AS HAS EVERY MALFOY." yells malfoy at the top of his lungs.

"as a pureblood mr. malfoy i am sure that you know the only ways out of the sorting hats desition are for you to be exspelled from this school, meaning your wand would have to be snapped or your parents can decide to change your school. which requires my approval as headmaster. the only other option is for you to run away and thereby never finish your education. so unless you plan on running away please take your seat with the other hufflepuffs please." states dumbledore in his most grandfatherly way.

"uncle sevie you are not going to let this old fool get away with this are you. i am your godson and your snuggly bunny do something." states draco despearate to not be put into hufflepuff. draco is so upset that he did not even notice he just told the whole school that he and snape are sleeping together, which in the wizarding world is legal since children are thought to be property of their parents namly their father to do with as they please.

"mr. malfoy please take a seat with the rest of your house before you give the name of malfoy an even worse name then it already has." states snape trying with all his might not to kill draco, even thou sex with a child given the parents consent may not be illegal it is looked down upon.

so draco does do as he is told mumbleing the whole way how his father will hear all about this.

potter: "mr. potter it is so good to see you. well it seems you are a smart one, able to keep your grades lower then your cousin while not failing or letting the teachers catch on. ah sneaking out to the library when your aunt is at her tea parties, very brave of you. flagging down the police to sick them on your cousin and his gang when they are beating up other children, also very smart and brave of you. but is also very cunning since with him in trouble with the police even thou your uncle buys him out of trouble he now has a record with the police. an since your aunt can swear you were locked in your cupboard the whole day no one even thinks to blame you. of course as i can see that does not stop them from punishing you when he gets in trouble thou. but as i can tell no slytherin for you even thou i do think you would do well there. so the lions or the ravens it is then but which one. oh you want to go unnoticed is it, then it must be." "RAVENCLAW" yells the hat for everyone to hear.

weasley: "so it seems you want to do something, anything that has not been done before by your brothers before you is it?" ''SLYTHERIN" yells the hat.

"but, but, you can't put me with those snake. my family will kill me." states ron as he starts to panic.

"you clearly wanted to do something your brothers have never done before mr. weasley an none of them have ever been sorted into a different house so now you are the first." states the hat clearly to everyone.

"but, but why not ravenclaw? or even hufflepuff?" begs ron.

"as we both know you are not a ravenclaw. an even thou you are loyal to dumbledore as if he were a god ( which makes dumbledore sit up a bit taller in his seat) we both now your love of gold and fame are even greater, as long as you do not have to work to hard for it that is." says the hat to ron and the great hall.

"but, but." stammers ron hoping someone will pull him out of this mess seeing as thinking is not his strong suite.

"mr. weasley take your seat with your house. if your parents have a problem with your sorting they can talk over the options with me at a later date, just as mr. malfoys parents can." states dumbledore.

an as much as ron wanted to take the option to just run away even he knew that would mean hiding out in the muggle world an trying to find a job. even thou he did not know how old you had to be to get a job in the muggle world he knew he would be unlikely to get a very good job. so he plucked up what courage he had left and headed for the house of the snake his hated enemies in his mind, but also his new home for at least awhile.

an of course the reason the sorting hat put these people in these house is in hopes of changing peoples minds about what they thought of the different houses.

now harry wanting to blend in did great in ravenclaw. he could show off his brains but still make sure he was still only third highest in the year an not look out of place in ravenclaw.

now as for mr. draco malfoy he was withdrawn from hogwarts and large sums of money were payed to the board of govenors to erase the fact he was ever sorted into hufflepuff. it was listed that he declined the hogwarts letter that was sent him. mr. malfoy sr. also had to step down as a board member as part of this deal. it was listed as the reason being he wanted more time to train his son privately. now whatever happened to draco no one know. no children ever showed up at hogwarts claiming he was their father, so he could have been murdered by his own parents. he could have been disowned and disinherited by his father and had to go live in the muggle world with his squibe cousin berny from his mothers side of the family or he could have been sent to a school outside the country and gotten married and vowed naver to send one of his children to hogwarts. what is know is that his little sister sara came to hogwarts 8 years later but never talked about her brother draco. an no one knows if anyone ever claimed the title of head of the family after malfoy sr. died from the curse cast by potter on the dark lords followers.

now you might ask how harry saved granger from the toll with them in different houses? that is simple he did not, see being a slytherin ron's big mouth ended up getting him beaten up rather often sometimes as much as 3 or 4 times a day. so by halloween he learned to keep his mouth shut or he would get a fist in it.

now who helped harry get the sorcerers stone and sneak it off to the bank for safe keeping? no one, he was smart enough to get past all the silly little traps on his own. by then he had also started learning his new method of magic of intent, desire and picturing the end result. so he was able to take out quirrel without using his wand so that it looked as if voldimort had somehow gotten passed the mirror and dumped the teachers body when it was no longer of need to him. so in dumbledores mind voldimort got the stone and his body back in harry's first year.

now ron did end up staying in hogwarts and even in slytherin. the reason is because his parents are on a payment plan at hogwarts so that they pay half of mr. weasley's salary to the school every year. now his paycheck is 10,000 gallions a year. so he pays 5,000 a year to hogwarts. even thou hogwarts tuition is only 4,000 gallions a year per student he has 7 children the oldest of which just got out of hogwarts not to long ago. which means even if he pulls ron out of school he still needs to pay off the debt for the rest before he would have the extra money to send ron to a different school. as far as molly working to bring in extra money mr. weasley says no and as head of the family and her husband he has the right to stop her from working since as his property she needs his permission to work. yes the wife and children are property in the wizarding world. also thanks to his brothers and other members of the lions den poor ron gets many detentions for fighting so much so that he fails his first year. he also fails his second try at first year as a result of threats by both his parents and snape for bringing shame to his house ron does manage to pass first year on his third try. ron then spend one and part of a second year in second year before his home is attack by deatheaters and he and percy are murdered. of course even to this day some people think it was ron's own parents who murdered him and only killed percy to cover up the crime. others think it was snape who killed percy and ron for costing him his job and a lot of money not to mention ron being a descrace to the name slytherin. even thou mr. and mrs. weasley had no part in the lawsuite ron and percy did both sign their own names to the case. percy did since it was the right thing to do, namely getting rid of a bad teacher and ron in hopes of getting a lot of money. which he did get but never lived to spend since he got the money only 3 days before he started what should have been his 5th year but was his second try at passing his second year. in the few months he had that money ron get every owl order book there was and spent nearly 250,000 gallion. which may be the reason his parents killed him, mr. weasley is in debt for years to put his kids threw school and his son blows threw 25 years worth of his paycheck in 4 months. but now that percy and ron are dead mr. and mrs. weasley have 1,750,000 gallions sounds like a lot of reasons for murder to me. now the twins also signed their name to the lawsuite and used it to open the joke shop along with the 1,000 gallions from harry, who was the only one to believe in their jokeshop idea. the weasley family claim it was some hufflepuffs who's parents were unmarked deatheaters who tricked ron into opening the floo connection for them, but this was never proven even after the parents of the hufflepuffs were caught. so to this day no one really knows who killed ron and percy weasley, but we do know that it was little gin gin who pulled the pranks on ron to cause him to fail year after year. an no ginny did not put her name on the lawsuite since she was train in potions by fred and george by helping them brew their pranks, she never had a potion blow up in class and fred and george's potions only blew up when they wanted out of class early.

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now second year harry is smart enough to figure out that lockhart is a fraud on his own. since his books have him in two and sometimes three places at the same time. an harry does let this fact slip when he is asked what he thinks of the new defence teacher.

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now third year harry does become somewhat friends with weasley and granger after harry spots ron being drug under the wamping willow. an of course granger the one who has to know everything follows after them. an thing turn out the same as in the book but peter does not get away as they leave the wamping willow because he gets stunned harry. sirius does get a trail and is set free to take up the defence against the dark arts job at hogwarts.

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as far as harry and semus being together well that is not hard since semus is in godrics house he can give harry the password so that he can sneak on up after hours and takes part during harry's 4th year. ( A.N. an if i wrote it to sound as if they were in the same house that is because when i wrote that part they were. i decided to move harry only once i started on the idea for this chapter.) harry during the tri-wizard tournament kills fudge by feeding him to the dragon to get past it by using the summoning charm on fudge then a repelling charm to shoot him at the dragon. an yes this is legal because all persons in the tourament have all laws waved for them which would include murder. now the reason for this is because in the fourth tri-wizard tournament france had the stunning spell made illegal for one year with the penalty being death and thereby took out the other two member in the first event.

how harry becomes head of the house of black is that barty crouch jr. put his name in the cup when he was at hogwarts as his father. yes crouch jr. spent harry's 4th year pretending to be his own father. when harry name came out of the cup sirius decided to give harry the title of head of the house of black thinking as a legal adult harry could then just say no thanks to being in the tournament but dumbledore would not allow it. now harry did sue and thereby hold up the tournament by 3 monthes on the grounds he did not put his name into the cup or that he was also to young by tournament rules. since the case went to the international confederation of wizards harry ended up winning on both grounds. thereby he got to decide if he wanted to be in the tournament. this was also the same time he sued the daily prophet for slander and liable and won ownership of the paper. since they were writting rather nasty stories about him for holding up the tournament. this is also what convinced harry to be in the tournament no matter the outcome of the trail to prove all those fools wrong.

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the fight with dumbledore at grimwald place takes place right after 4th year.

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now harry does end up sueing snape and hogwarts namely dumbledore for assult and attemped murder. since snape is supposed to be a potion master and thereby SHOULD know how to prevent simple students potions from blowing up. in the end more then half the students sign up on the case as well. to prevent going to trail and prison both snape and dumbledore agree to step down from their jobs. snape gets fired right away and dumbledore agrees to step down right after what would have been harry's 5th year. they also have to pay 1 million gallions to each person who was named in the case. this is also the reason harry gives to the press for not coming back to hogwarts, he thinks it is unsafe.

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	12. Chapter 12

disclaimer: i am not j.k.r. or richer then the queen of england and i am not making any money off of this.

what ron spent 250,000 gallions on in 4 months.

1. lifetime subscription to playwizard magazine 3,000 gallions.

2. lifetime subscription to quittich monthly magazine 3,000 gallions.

3. lifetime subscription to chessmasters monthly magazine 3,000 gallions.

4. whole new set of cloth, and only the best for the newly rich. 50,000 gallions

5. new firebolt broom 50,000 gallions.

6. multi compartment trunk 10 rooms 50,000 gallions.

7. full set of dragon hide armour 25,000 gallions.

8. full set of professional quittich gear used in the world cup game 40,000 gallions.

9. metamorph inflate a date 1,000 gallions.

10. non-refundable dowery to miss luns lovegood 25,000 gallions.

ron is kind of cheap when it comes to buying a future wife so he had to take whoever was willing to take the money and the only 2 were luna and milly from slytherin the fat ugly one, ron did the smart thing and picked luna.

A.N. anyone who read chapter 11 right after it was posted my want to go back and look at it again since i updated in about 5 times till i thought it was at least somewhat right. 


	13. Chapter 13

a.n. not much of an update but did want to say i know i made at least a few mistakes writing this such as i killed of ron weasley in the attack on his home then had kreacher drive him nuts after granger went bonkers.

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voldimort did take over england for the most part very soon after harry left. how he did this is simple. he has had deatheaters in the ministry for years gathering information. floo hookup location, underage magic reversals, requests for ministry warders to put up protections, all of these things leave a paper trail to your homes location and the protections it has on it. now using this information voldimort could easily send out 2 or 3 teams to wipe out 2/3 of the auror force in a single night. after the deatheaters finish that they then go after the wizumgot members who are on the light side. that way within 24 hours the country is helpless. you can then pick off the rest of the country as you please.

an since my voldimort has a brain for the homes under goblin wards he sends his people in threw the floo dressed as aurors claiming the house is about to be attacked. an yes they wear glamor charms to prevent anyone from figuring out that the ones going to attack the house are being let in by the owners of said houses. since there are most likely spells up that only allow floo calls but not floo travel unless the home owner lowers the wards on the floo.

now how dumbledore ends up winning is he begs the international confederation of wizards for help, which they do end up sending at a great cost to the british ministy of magic. it cost them almost 1 billion gallions to get the troops from around the world to come and save thier asses.

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now i know some of you want to know how granger did in slytherin. she is a booksmart muggleborn which means she did not do well at all. within 24 hours of entering slytherin she was tricked into signing a contract that allowed her new master to have total control over her while in the common room or dorms. she did not know the exstent of magic at the time or think a prefect would trick a new student into signing a slave contract. as a result she was used in every possible way from doing peoples homework, to sleeping on the floor at the foot of her masters bed, to being her masters personal footstool, to being his personal house elf, she was also rented out for everyone and anyone to have whatever kind of sex they wanted with her as long as there was no proof for anyone to find on her body of course. which ment that the really fuff sex was saved for the weekends so any broken bones would have time to heal before class on monday.

as to why she never left was because as a student she was safe outside her common room, as a muggleborn who flunked out or just refused to go back she would have her wand snapped and still be subject to the contract with the only difference being she was her masters to control 24/7. so she picked the lesser of two evil by staying a student and also staying out of slytherin house as much as she could.

as far as snape goes with protecting his slytherins, he does protect them from all outsiders even thier own parents as much as he can. but since he himself when in school had to sign a sex slave contract with malfoy and the lestrange brothers to keep himself from being used by the whole house, if you were not smart you were worse then dead in slytherin. when it comes to slytherin it is every witch and wizard for themselves an hopefully your family has enough power to make sure you become a user and not a used. snape had no problem helping heal the students from the lessons they received at home during break such as dark arts curses that the students were being tought, for the right price that is. if the student did not learn to block the curse or learn the counter curse as they should have then snape was ready to profit from thier mistakes.

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as far as ron weasley and slytherin house goes it only look them 2 days before he was forced into signing a slave contract, of course that had more to do everyone playing with the new muggleborn toys then anything else. that contract was most likely the best thing that ever happened to poor ron since his house was of course not going to let ron being lazy bring down the house image. of course thanks to his sibling constant pranks it was also the worst thing to happen to ron as well. his master forced ron to study from end of dinner til bedtime while also being used as a sex plaything by the whole house. also every time ron got detention because of a prank pulled by his siblings on him his master beat ron because that cut into the profit that master was making from the sex. so as a result ron did end up smarter then he would have been but that was offset by all the detentions and beats and constant rape. the real problem was his sibling pranks normally happened on test days so that ron missed the test and even the makeup test as well. at home before coming to hogwarts the worst thing ron had to deal with was his brothers pranks and maybe missing a meal, so once in slytherin he was eaten live. an with pranks at home he could always run to mommy but at school there is no mommy to save him. an writing home to mommy does no good since you can not prove who pranked you, even if you could all mommy can do is send a howler to the twins. as to how ron got tricked into signing a slave contract is simple, marcus flint told him how great all weasley men seem to be great at quittich and wanted him to try out for the team by signing up for said tryouts. ron hearing he may have a chance to beat his brothers by getting on the team as a first year gladdly signed the paper without reading it.

now before i said ron paid a dowery of 25,000 gallions to the lovegood family. this is true an the reason is the weasley families poor standing among other purebloods. in a normal case it would be the lovegoods paying to get luna into a good family. an the lovegoods would get that money back plus more threw business deals, but since the weasley family have no busnesses that would help aid the lovegoods then ron had to be the one to pay.

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now as far as harry surviving the killing curse at the age of one, well he did not survive it. harry was given a potter family luck stone to wear which just happened to be made of diamond. the stone was what was hit by the curse and not harry himself. now since diamond is so strong not even the killing curse could break it but the stone was small so it could only hold so much energy and thereby discharged the extra energy back at the source in this case voldimort. so in the end harry really never was marked as an equal it is just dumbledore and voldimort thought he was since neither of them knew about the potter luck stone.

now j.k.r. lists harry as being smart before heading to hogwarts but hiding it to prevent punishment for being smarter then dudley, then she throws in ron who harry has to dumb himself down for to keep him as a friend. so why bother saying harry is smart if he is not going to show off his brains ever. also the school goes threw the trouble to send muggleborns thier hogwarts letter threw normal post but then tells them that they must send a return owl no later then july 31 if they wish to go to hogwarts. now that is stupid since it does not say in harry's letter where diagon alley is at or where to borrow an owl from to send said letter back to the school telling them you are coming.

now my harry does have brains and does use them. he spends most of his time he should be out playing with other children at school hiding in the school library so as a result it takes him less then 2 years to read every book the school has even the textbooks for the upper years. during the summer and after finishing the school library harry starts on the local public library an finishes it off in just under 2 years. now what this means is harry is almost 10 years old and is likely smarter then many adults. so of course when harry enters the wizarding world the first thing he does is find out how much extra money he has and hit the local bookshop. if there is one thing harry learned from his so-called family is that "you must know the rules to know how to get around the rules." so harry bought every book he could including books on wizarding law, which in trueth was a joke since every law seemed to have a counter law so that as long as you knew the laws you could get away with anything you wanted.

now due to harry's large library of private books he was able to place monitoring charms all around the school in his first year to keep an eye on the third floor hallway that was out of bounds. so he knew what his defence teacher was up to.

this version of the murauders map also let harry know the ginny weasley always came out of the same bathroom after each attack by the snake in second year so that by christmas harry had a dead snake and a distroyed diary. now when fred and george give harry the murauders map in third year harry is able to make some updates to his map such as secret tunnels out of hogwarts and the password detection spell.

now the difference with third year was sirius never got caught by the ministry because peter was caught at the shack and did not get away. he told the ministry everything about him being a spy for the dark lord as well as dumbledore helping get him named the potters secret keep and that he killed all the muggles and not sirius as a result dumbledore had to blackmail, bribe and threaten a lot of people to keep his titles. this is also when harry found out he was head of the house of potter and sirius named him head of the house of black.

now fourth year harry got out of the tri-wizard tournament due to breach of contract on the part of the people running the contest because he was not 17 years old as the rules required. it also only took harry a week to figure out moodey was a fake since harry checked his map often and found out crouch was in fact teaching mad eye moodey's classes even though everyone swore it was in fact moodey in class. so as a result malfoy sr. had to help the dark lord return to his body by both turning the cup into a portkey as well as giving up his left hand to get his master a new body when vicktor krum won the tournament. as to why harry was not kidnapped is simple harry added the spells for a dark arts detector to his map and used wormtails dark mark to program it to pick up the dark mark so harry was always one step ahead of malfoy sr. as to how malfoy sr. was able to bypass the wards well he is on the board of govenors which is higher ranking then the headmaster or that of a simple teacher. an between fouth and fifth years was when harry left hogwarts for good to never return.

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now as to the reason hogwarts has so many unused classrooms is because after 3 wizard wars in less then 100 years many families left england or were killed off. so in years gone by the student roll was more like 1,000 students instead of the ruffly 300 at hogwarts now. also hogwarts had post n.e.w.t. years as well. so you could stay on and gain a mastery in your given field as well as teach the lower years at the same time. so in a case such as snape he would only ever teach post n.e.w.t. level classes while those looking to gain a mastery would be forced to have to teach the other student, over time thou some teachers thought this was totally unfair since they had fewer post n.e.w.t. students they got stuck teaching the lower year students themselves. so over time the mastery program was done away with but the extra classrooms remained. 


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